"Hiiiiiiii best friend!"
"Who are you and why are you talking to my boyfriend?!!!?"
"You have a boyfriend?!!! But I thought you were a guy!!!!"
"I'm the guy's girlfriend!"
"I'm not really seeing how he would like a girl like you. You see, he's my best friend! OMG, YOU KILLED HIM DIDN'T YOU???!? THAT'S WHY HE'S NOT ANSWERING!"
"I didn't kill-"
"God, please assist me in avenging my best friend's death! THIS IS SPARTA!!!!" *kicks the phone*
"What-"
*creepy voice* "I will find you, and I will kill you."
"What the-"
"DON'T INTERRUPT THE MOMENT! I AM IN CONNECTION WITH GOD!"
"Um, okay then-"
"I SAID NOT TO INTERRUPT ME!!!!!"
"Jill, give me my phone please."
"But-"
"Give it to me now."
"Ugh, fine." *gives phone*
"BEST FRIEND! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! LORD, YOU HAVE RESURRECTED MY BEST FRIEND! I AM EVER IN YOUR FAVOR!"
"What the hell?"
"Well you see, this girl took your phone and pretended to be you and said you had a boyfriend and then I thought she killed you and then-"
"I have a girlfriend, it was her."
"You do?!?!?! BUT I THOUGHT WE WERE WATTPAD SOULMATES!!!!"
"I told you that stuff wasn't real..."
"YOU HAVE DISAPPOINTED ME, OH STUPID ONE. I REFUSE TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN."
"You said that already the last time, and the time before that, and-"
"I SAID I'M NOT GOING TO TALK TO YOU. NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE TO MEET MY SQUAD, Leo, Donatello, Mikey, and Raphael!" *hangs up*
"Aren't those the teenage mutant ninja turtles?"
YOU ARE READING
Just A Friend
Short Story"So what are you to me?" "Someone you know in another dimension, time, life-" "Wait, what?" "Just a friend." ... BEWARE: Full of cringey humor. Ongoing editing. Expect face palming and laughter. You have been warned.
