"Holy chicken nugget, how do girls stay angry at their soul mate for a long time? I can't even handle five minutes."
"You tell me, you're the girl in this relationship."
"You sure about that?"
"I do not act like a girl." >_
"Keep talking, buddy. Okay, so," *opens wattpad book* "once the girl FINALLY gets an apology after throwing a tantrum for 50 years, they get back together and act like the girl wasn't a total bitch to him. The poor, poor guy." *sigh*
"You do realize I'm the guy here, right?"
"Be quiet fuckboy, I'm trying to feel sympathy for this poor soul who has to deal with such a horrible girl."
*mutters* "I can relate."
"HOLY CHICKEN NUGGET, how do such cliche books get over 1 million reads? Are people this desperate for love? Damn, humanity. I'm disappointed."
"You're one of them."
"Be quiet, fuckboy. You are one of the reasons people have made such cliche books."
"WHAT DID I DO?!?!?!"
"Now, apparently I'M SUPPOSED TO HAVE A BAD PAST. Hmm... lemme think about it. Hmm, let's say my parents died? BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE WATTPAD CLICHE CHARACTER HAS A HORRIBLE PAST AND NO ONE WAS EVER NORMAL."
"And what do I have to do with this?"
"You have to feel sympathetic towards me even though you went through so much more, BECAUSE APPARENTLY ONLY THE GIRL HAS FEELINGS ACCORDING TO WATTPAD, even though I was a total bitch to you."
"And why are you being so serious about this? It's only a cliche wattpad book."
"Do you not understand the importance of meninism and feminism? I MUST MAKE A STAND AND FIGHT FOR MY COUNTRY."
"Okay..."
"I HAVE A DREAM..."
"Please don't-"
"ON THE ORDERS OF PEPE, TMNT, AND ANTOINE DODSON, THAT I MUST FIX THESE GENDER STEREOTYPES."
"Holy hell, God why am I stuck with her? Oh shit, I'm taking this soul mate stuff seriously. Oh hell naw."
"GOD, YOU HAVE MADE MY SOUL MATE UNDERSTAND HIS ROLE AND VALUE IN THIS WORLD. I AM VERY THANKFUL, and I WILL SACRIFICE A CHICKEN NUGGET EVERYDAY BY EATING IT." *salutes God*
"I am not taking it seriously. I refuse to believe in such idiotic beliefs."
"Believe me, when you see how hot I am, because every character in Wattpad is supposedly never ugly, you'll fall in love with me even more."
*facepalm* "We can never talk normally, can we?"
"Believe me, everything on Wattpad is everything but normal."
"And so are you..."
"I shall rebel against your situation once again, because all of the girls refuse to believe that everything that the guy says and wants for them is the most horrible thing ever, and that the guy is just being stupid. Goodbye, soul mate." *hangs up*
"Sometimes I wonder if she's actually my soul mate..."
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Sorry if this chapter was more serious than the others, but I did want to make a point about Wattpad cliches.
Even though I am a girl myself, I did feel some sympathy about the men in books. It makes a false reality on what men should be like, and how they act. To all you boys out there, please just be yourself. Don't depend on a Wattpad cliche to make you someone you aren't, unless you actually are a womanizing fuckboy or bad boy. If you're actually a nice guy, I just want you to know how much I appreciate you guys.
Now onto the women. On Wattpad, we are given a false example on how we act. Not all of us are a total bad girl or nerd, and that's okay. We don't need to be someone else to make someone like us. Be yourself, and love who you are. Y'all are totally awesome. #girlpower
With lots of love, heartened
YOU ARE READING
Just A Friend
Cerita Pendek"So what are you to me?" "Someone you know in another dimension, time, life-" "Wait, what?" "Just a friend." ... BEWARE: Full of cringey humor. Ongoing editing. Expect face palming and laughter. You have been warned.
