This one shot is based on episode 45
Song Inspiration:
Gair sa hua khud se bhi, na koi mera
Dard se karle chal yaari dil ye keh raha
Kholun jo baahein, bas gham ye simat
rahe hain
Aankhon ke aage lamhe, ye kyun ghat rahe hain
Jaane kaise koi sehta judaaiyaan
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Murtasim was miserable. There wasn't another word for it, really. He missed her so much that he was barely able to function. Everything reminded him of Meerab, the pain robbing him of breath. It had been like this since he left her in Karachi 3 nights ago. He longed for sleep, just to escape this gut-wrenching pain her absence caused, but sleep wouldn't come. He was constantly absorbed in her thoughts, his closed eyes assaulted by her face, laughing at him. Why did she do this?
The question kept him up at night. Why would she betray him like that? Aiding Marium to run away and then hiding it from him. He trusted her when she said that they didn't know about Anas's alternate identity. He knew she would never willingly hurt anyone or put Mariyam on a path of destruction. She could have come to him and told him what Marium planned to do. Even if she didn't know that Anas was Malik Zubair, she still ignored all the facts he had presented in front of her. Why would she trust a random guy over her own husband? Anas was a red flag, he didn't come to meet the family, his mother was toxic, and Muratsim had told her he lived at a shady address. Still, she chose to believe him!
Her memories were like salt on Muratsim's wounds. He had laid his heart bare in front of her that night, talking about his deepest wishes and past regrets and had cried while confessing his love for her and asking her to take care of him. At that moment, as his pain reflected in her eyes and tears streamed down her face, he had felt the love from her. Her tears and the look in her eyes had felt like a silent confession of her feelings. It had given him hope, something to hold on to, but she had crashed all his hopes with her actions. It hurt even more because he had finally allowed himself to believe she had feelings for him, and things would be normal between them. How wrong he was! He was a fool to believe he meant anything to her. All that mattered were her pride, her promises. His love, his pleas to save their relationship and him, held no importance to her.
He paced the room, feeling suffocated surrounded by her scent and little things in their bedroom. He hadn't allowed anyone to touch their room since she had left. As if keeping things as is would bring her back. He was so confused. He wanted to escape from this pain she had caused but couldn't part with the smallest memory related to her. He ran his hands through his hair, pulling his hair in frustration. She hadn't called him since he had left her, hadn't tried to explain her side of things. Didn't she care about him? Didn't she know how miserable he would be without her? Or was she expecting him to call or go after her?
He shook his head. No, he wasn't going to get her back. He had been fighting for her, their marriage since day one. He didn't have it in him anymore. What if this is what she wanted, to be away from him? What if she wanted freedom from him and this marriage? He wouldn't survive if she said those words to him. He knew that. As much as her betrayal pained him, he didn't want to let her go. She was his wife, and she belonged with him. Why wasn't she trying to talk to him? Did he not matter at all? His thoughts kept circling back to thar question again and again.
Someone knocked on the door, Murtasim stopped his manic pacing around the room and ran a hand over his face. He didn't want to deal with anyone right now, but the knock sounded again, so he opened the door to find Mariyam. He stood at the door, not inviting her in. She was another one who had hurt him by not believing in him and not trusting him.
