spike my heart (haikyuu x male reader)

black and white (tooru o.)

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reader had suicidal ideation, please skip if any content in this chapter triggers you in any way.

soulmate au where everyone sees the world in black and white until they make eye contact with their soulmate.
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"when are you going to tell me about how you two met?"

tooru had the food halfway to his mouth, when he stopped. he looked at his daughter, then over at y/n, who was just looking at his plate, poking around at it.

today was their daughters fourteenth birthday, and they were out at her favorite restaurant for lunch, when she brought up that topic.

he laughed quietly, trying to steer the conversation away to something else.

"we've been over this, arisa. the story isn't anything special. come on, i want to know how you're doing with ten-"

"wait!" she interrupted. "ugh, i don't want to be lied to anymore! stop trying to change the subject, dad. i've been asking this question since i was five but you and daddy never given an answer. the only answer ive gotten is 'we'll tell you next year'. well, it's next year, i want to know!"

y/n put down his utensils and looked arisa, looking at her eyes, colored brown. she didn't know what they quite looked like yet.

he looked helplessly at tooru, with a look saying 'she's way too old for this game, it's time'.

so, he scooted next to her across the corner booth they sat at, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"you want to know?" he asked quietly.

she looked at him like he was stupid. "yes! for like, forever." 

tooru swallowed, giving one last look at y/n before sighing.

"okay," he mumbled. "okay, we'll tell you."

y/n started.

"i... didn't really like where my life was heading."

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y/n didn't think there was anything to his life anymore.

the world had always been a bleak, monochrome landscape. all he saw were shades of gray stretch endlessly before his eyes, devoid of the vibrancy and warmth that he knew existed, but had never experienced.

and it started to get to the point where he didn't think he would ever get to experience. he heard stories of how the world would explode into color when he met his soulmate, but with each passing year, that hope dwindled.

he would look at everyone. crossing the sidewalk, in school, at the store, hell, he would even look into the eyes of actors on tv to see if it was a possibility that he could meet his soulmate that way.

but as much as he wanted to be with his soulmate, he wanted to see color more.

sure, having someone who was made for you and for someone to be by your side sounded nice, but seeing different shades of colors that weren't just gray sounded better.

y/n didn't have anyone to talk to. it wasn't that he was disliked or bullied, he was actually quite popular in his year, but he just couldn't connect with anyone, no matter how hard he tried.

he would join conversations, tried to laugh at the jokes people thought were funny, but it always felt forced, like he was playing a part in a play he didn't belong to. he was starting to think something was wrong with him.