Irish Deception

Chapter Forty-Four

Stasia

I want to disagree with Vlad, tell him he's completely mistaken about what he said but the truth of the matter is that I don't think I would be able to let any of them do anything to Irvin.

I knew that after I left he would likely come after us but I hadn't really thought of what that would mean and would have to happen to keep him away.

I was naive to not consider it but now Vlad's put that very realistic thought in my head I know I won't be able to stand by and let anything happen to him.

It's not for the reasons Vlad thinks though, I'm sure it's not. It's more to do with the fact that he didn't do anything to hurt me. The whole time I was there he never once attempted to hurt me, he treated me well. Way better than I'd even expected and because of that I know deep down that I wouldn't be able to see him hurt.

The problem is I know there isn't a hope in hell that I'm going to be able to say that out loud to the others because they just wouldn't understand.

They wouldn't get it and I don't even know if I'd be able to explain it properly.

As I sit in the lounge with Natalia and Marianna I'm not even paying attention to the film.

No my whole focus is on the ring on my finger. I twirl it round staring at it, completely in my own world and I don't even know why.

I don't even know why I still have it on.

The logical thing to do is take it off but I really just can't bring myself to do it. Even sitting here I can't will myself to just slip it off of my finger.

"Harder to remove than you thought?" Marianna says from the other side of Natalia snapping me out of my thoughts and stunning me that she's actually spoken to me without me having to speak first.

"Huh?" I ask not quite understanding what she means.

"The ring" she replies nodding down to it and I instantly fist my hands together in an attempt to hide it.

"I er I-" my voice cracks and I stumble over my words not having a logical answer for her.

I don't even know what to say right now.

"I don't know why I haven't taken it off" I admit keeping my voice low so the others don't somehow overhear me.

Right now I feel like Marianna is the only person in this whole place that I could actually confide in right now.

She doesn't say anything back instead she sits quietly looking at me as if giving me the time I need to find the right thing to say so I can continue.

"Vlad thinks I wouldn't be able to let Irvin be hurt or-" I make a throat cutting gesture to save from saying anything that may upset Natalia.

"And you don't agree with him?" She asks and I drop my head in shame.

"No I think he's right" I admit and a huge sense of dread and guilt floods me.

"You wanted to get back to them?" She asks and I start nodding my head straightaway.

"Oh god I wanted nothing more" I don't even hesitate to say because it's the truth.

"And you're happy to be back?" She then asks.

"Of course, I'd missed them so much" again it's easy to answer and I don't even have to think about it.

"Do you think you'll miss him?" She then asks and although I know I should say no I can't.

The word won't come out, it's like it gets stuck in my throat and refuses to leave me.

We sit in awkward silence for a moment until Marianna is the first to speak.

"Can I ask you something?" She asks hesitantly.

I nod and wait for her to go on.

"What happened? Last night what happened for you to hit him like that, did he hurt you?" She queries and I feel this sudden intense urge to jump to his defence.

"Irvin would never hurt Stasia" Natalia says interrupting beating me to it. "He loves her like uncle Vlad loves you mummy"

Silence.

Complete and utter silence fills the room as me and Marianna gape at her.

"No he doesn't" I eventually manage to scoff and shake my head attempting to keep things lighthearted.

Which is way harder to do with the heaviness that suddenly weighs me down, the ring on my finger feeling as if it's burning me.

I wish I could just completely brush off what Natalia said but deep down it hits hard and all I can think about is whether she could be right or not.

I knew there were feelings developing there on Irvin's side, I could see it even time he looked at me.

"Yes he does" she say crossing her arms across her chest with as much of a stern expression that a five year old can muster and it has me feeling as if I'm literally staring in the mirror at myself.

Thankfully her attention is drawn back to the TV and even though all seems to be forgotten for her it definitely isn't for me.

Nope I go back to playing with the ring on my finger trying to figure out what the hell is going on inside my head right now.