Irish Deception

Chapter Thirty

Watching Blake walk out of that changing room was excruciating. So much so I spent the next ten minutes crouched in the corner sobbing in o the point of hyperventilating.

I allowed to myself to let it out, gave myself that moment of weakness before I wiped my tears away, stood up and pulled myself together somehow managing to put a smile on my face and go back to pretending I that I'm okay.

Transforming myself into the version of Anastasia I needed to be for the foreseeable future.

Wife to be Anastasia.

For all that Mariana had started to settle down and be less jittery throughout the day that all goes straight out the window the minute the compound came into view ahead of us.

I could see the moment her whole body tensed and how her hands started shaking as she clamped them together in her lap.

Even though I've been jealous that she had the chance to get to know my daughter, I've come to realise that in so many ways I had to lucky escape.

There's not a doubt in my mind that being married to Daniil would have been a lot like it must be being married to Micah.

I'd of been his very own punching bag, having my independence and spirit quite literally beaten out of me until I was just a shell of a woman. Too scared to even move wrong out of fear of what would happen to me next.

I couldn't have lived like that and I sure as hell won't let Marianna either.

Reaching over I clasp her hand in mine not missing the way she flinches. When her eyes snap to mine I give her as much of a reassuring smile as I can muster. One that says we're in this together.

We're back just in time for dinner so we head straight to the dining room where Irvin and Micah are waiting for us but I halt in my tracks when I see they're not alone.

My stomach sinks as I see my mother and father sitting at the table with Natalia sitting in my father's lap.

She looks so happy and carefree, so unaware of the monsters sitting at the table with her.

"Natalia!" Marianna all but wails as she shoves past me where I'm completely rooted in place.

Natalia's head snaps round and her smile beams with pure delight as she sees Marianna.

"Mummy!" She shouts leaping off my father's lap and runs to Marianna who quickly scoops her up in her arms in a tight embrace.

For most seeing a mother being reunited with her daughter after all these weeks would be a wonderful thing but all it does is pierce straight through.

I feel completely stripped bare.

But that feeling is quickly replaced with white hot rage as my eyes land on my father and find him smiling vindictively.

"What are you doing here?" I say straight away still standing at the threshold refusing to share the same air as this man.

The room is deathly silent as me and my father stare at each other, locked in a face off. His expression likely mirroring mine. Utter disgust and displeasure from being in each other's vicinity.

"Natalia missed her parents" my mother says meagrely from where she's sat next to my father but I don't take my gaze away from him. Even as she says "and we wanted to see you, I wanted to see you"

Only then do my eyes briefly flicker over to hers as I feel my heart crack just a little.

It's still there, that feeling deep down where when you're at your most vulnerable the person you want most is your mother. But that feeling quickly disappears as I remember her refusing to even hold my hand when I was giving birth.

After I begged and pleaded with her to stay with me, to not just abandon me when I needed her most. She wouldn't though, Instead she allowed me to go through the whole thing alone with midwives that were strangers to me.

"I don't want to see you" I say to her and quickly return my gaze back to my father as I say "either of you"

"Anastasia, come sit down and eat" Irvin says gesturing to my chair an edge of demand in his tone and he's probably expecting me to follow his request without any hesitation but that's not going to happen right now.

"No" I snap at him regretting it straight away because not once have I let my timid girl facade drop but here I am practically throwing it out the window within minutes of being around my father.

Irvin's eyes widen with surprise from my clear sudden change in presentation and I know I could very well fuck all of this before it's even started.

"I don't want them here not after everything they've done, after what he had done to me" I quickly say my voice naturally cracking as all the memories flood my mind.

I don't have to fake this. Fake my hate for them both because it's all real, every single heartbreaking thing that I went through is real. That emotion with always be real and it soaks through with every word I say next.

"He had me raped by her brother" I say briefly glancing at Marianna before I let my eyes fall on Natalia where she sits tightly wrapped in her mothers arms, thankfully her ears shielded from what I'm saying. "Then he gave my baby to her" that parts harder to say and causes Marianna to shudder.

And he had two of the men I love tortured

"Anastasia please" my mother actually attempts to plead with me.

"Don't!" I scream my whole body starting to vibrate with anger. "Don't you dare say my name. You don't get to say it anymore" I then hiss at her before spitting out my next words "you're dead to me. Both of you are dead to me!" I scream with tears streaming down my face.

I then turn and practically run away from the dining room needing to get away from them. I hear a chair screeching against the marble floor and Irvin call after me but I ignore him like I ignore the guards that follow me quite literally chasing and calling out to me, I just run straight to the court yard that I know I'm not allowed to enter but I do anyways shoving my way through the door setting the alarm off as I do.

I rings so loudly throughout the whole compound, deafeningly loud the sound of it piercing my ears painfully.

I need air. I need to be outside so I can fucking breathe.

As soon as the air hits my lungs I hunch over with my hands on my knees and scream. I scream so loud my throat burns and my body trembles violently.

I thought I could do this. That I could hold it together long enough to get everyone out of here but after seeing my father I don't think I can.

I need the twins, I need Blake. Fuck I even need Hugh. But they're not here so as I hear footsteps behind me and then a set of arms wrap around me and pull me up I selfishly allow myself to sink into the comfort of the body that embraces me because right now I need something so I don't completely fall apart.

"Your father will be leaving" Irvin says softly his hand stroking the back of my head with such gentleness I actually feel like he does care about me.

"Thank you" I whimper attempting to imagine that it's a different set of arms around me but it's impossible because it's not.