Irish Deception

Chapter Forty-Seven

Stasia 

For the rest of the evening I lock myself away in my room and refuse to come out or speak to any of them. 

I get it, I really do. 

They're angry and I understand why but I just can't find the right words to say to explain how I feel right now. I don't even really know what it is I'm feeling right now and I have a feeling that even if I did try to explain it to them they wouldn't listen or understand.

Of course I want to be here with them, god it's all I could think about the whole time I was away from them. 

But it's just not what I thought it would be. 

They're all so angry with me, the look of betrayal their in each of their eyes every time they look at me and that's before they even find out about what happened with Irvin on that balcony. I can't imagine what they will think of me or how they'll act if they find out about that. 

Even though I'm here with them all I really feel is alone. 

This time yesterday everything was so different and now it's like everything has just exploded around me with no real clear path on how to make any of it better. 

And that's not even the worst part. 

Nope the worst part is Vlad was 100% right when he said that I'm not going to be able to let them hurt Irvin. I'm not. I know I won't be able to but I also know with the way they were downstairs there's not a hope in hell that any of them are going to listen to me or even attempt to understanding why I would ever ask them not to hurt him. 

Vlad's also right about him coming for me. I know he is. 

And that means that the brothers will be in the line of fire too and I can't let that happen, I can't let them be hurt because of me either. 

I'm stuck. 

I'm stuck between them and him and I have no idea how I'm going to get myself out of it. 

I love them. I know I do there isn't a doubt in my mind about that but the truth is there are feelings there towards Irvin. It's not love, or well I don't think it is but there's something and that something is the exact reason I grabbed Vlad's discarded phone when I scurried up to my room. 

The exact reason I'm sat on my bed with it clutched in my hand with my thumb pressed down on the power button. 

There's a voice in the back of my head that's telling me that this is a terrible idea but there's also one that's telling me that maybe if I can just speak to him I can convince him not to come after me. 

Convince him to keep away and that way no one has to get hurt. 

No one has to be hurt because of me. 

Irvin isn't a bad guy, not from what I've seen of him anyways. The whole time I was with him he never hurt me, or even attempted to hurt me. He didn't push me, he took the time to try and get to know me, try to have something real with me. Maybe if he lets me explain to him, tell him what is going on inside my head he'll understand. 

Maybe he'll be able to understand me better than the other's can't.

As soon as the phone boots up I find Irvin's number, hesitating for a moment before I hit call. 

"te mertvec," You're a dead man. He growls through the phone straight away, his tone laced with nothing but rage and it makes me shudder from the sound of it. 

I instantly feel like this was a terrible idea, like I've made a huge mistake but I don't cut the call. Instead I take a deep breath to prepare myself before I speak. 

"It's me" I reply and there's just silence at the other end. Not a single sound for a few minutes making every hair on my body stand up. 

"Anastasia?" he breathes my name, all the earlier anger gone as if it was never there. 

Now all that's there is anguish, he actually sounds pained at hearing the sound of my voice and that cuts me open even more than I was before. 

"Are you safe? Please tell me you are okay and safe" he says, every word laced with nothing but concern. 

I betrayed him yet he still has concern for me and it's that revelation that confirms it to me that he isn't the monster everyone thinks he is. He'll understand, I just know he will.