perfect

what's wrong with me?

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️
(this chapter contains mentioning august, wille crying and some light but detailed smut)

it's been a few days now since I told Simon to basically forget what happened at the Movie night. it hurts to see him so emotional in class  he's started crying at least 5 times in the middle of the school day and it hurts me to see that he's hurting so much by my own words.

the way he buries his head into his arms or backpack when he's trying to hide the fact that he's crying, it hurts so much. his curls bouncing at his soft little sobs. it makes me think about the kiss even more, it was an amazing kiss and I don't even know why I told him to forget it. there's something wrong with me but I don't know what.

after the school day is finally done with Simon having 2 meltdowns before lunchtime. I'm finally heading for my dorm, walking past the window where it all happened. I stand still and look at the place "what's wrong with me?" I mumble to myself after checking if there's anyone around that can hear me. I take some steps closer to the window and sit down on the little stairs in front of it, staring into the hallway, just daydreaming about the kiss. as I feel something soft pressed on my lips. I know directly who it is. it's Simon.

I open my eyes and pull away slowly looking around if no one's near, the hallways are completely empty, it's just the two of us and I pull him closer by his purple sweater, pressing my lips back onto his. his hands slowly start to wrap around my neck while mine are cupping his cheeks.

he pulls away and places his forehead against mine, our noses brushing against each other softly. "I want you Wille, please let me have you" he whispers quietly enough so I could hear him. I get up from the stairs in front of the window and grab his hand, taking him to my dorm while being cautious of my surroundings. I open the door to my room and let him in, I walk in after him and close the door locking it behind me before walking closer to him again. "you can have me Simme" I say back quietly before pulling him closer to me and kissing him again.

i slowly let my hands travel across his body, slowly sliding down to his hips. he slowly let's his hands slide from the back of my neck to my chest, softly tugging on my shirt.

we pull away for a second, enough time for me to pull off my shirt and sit down onto my bed to pull him onto my lap. I help pull off his sweater and carefully lay it down next to me on the bed as he attacks my lips again with his. after a few seconds he moves his lips slowly down to my neck.

"Wilhelm!" i hear a voice in the distance say, I wake up to reality and see august walking my way. "what are you sitting here daydreaming man" he says laughing at me. "oh uhm.. I don't know. I'll go to my room now" I awkwardly laugh back as I get up and walk to my dorm room, replaying the dream over and over in my head till the point it has stopped. imagination choosing the wild side as I step into my room and close the door behind me.

"what's wrong with me" I quietly say to myself as I curl up into the blankets on my bed, tears quickly forming in my eyes. dropping them like a waterfall connected to an ocean.