Wreck • NBADURK

007: Deep Thoughts

A week has ticked slowly back and by now he's growing more worried that ever. Control, a cornerstone of their relationship, is slowly fading. He can feel it fading, he can see it fading like sand slipping through his fingers. Being up there and away from him is giving him the ability to rediscover his strength. Something he's all too sure Durk is helping with.

He controls him because he loves him but, Trell makes it so hurt to love him. Because he doesn't want to lose him, he doesn't want him to abandon him... everyone always abandons him... Because one day he wants to marry him. Kentrell is but a rocket, posed and ready for lift off. Nau'jour plans to ride him to the top. They would be the next power couple, move over Gabby and Dwayne... Chrissy and John... Beyoncé and Jay-Z. They'd be as big as Ike and Tina.. as big as Michael and Elvis's daughter would have been had the broad been a little smarter. They'd dominate the charts and rack up more than enough money in the process. And one day the love of money would replace the love their relationship lacks then Nau'jour would know Kentrell would be his forever.

He just has to hold out a little while longer. His single 'Favorite Song' is so hot right now, it's like fire. All the airways are playing it, it has the number one spot on the charts, hell, it just went platinum a few days ago... which was an occasion he should have celebrated with his supposed muse. He told Kentrell the song was for him, in reality he wrote half of it with him in mind but the whole inspiration for the song was his ex-girlfriend.

It's a shame Von couldn't be here to see his success, he always believed in him. They were going to work on something together before his untimely death. Von was another rocket, yet his cabin was inaccessible due to Jamell. That's one crazy ass nigga, he didn't want none of that. But it's not like he didn't think about it either.

The first time he saw Kentrell in person was at Von's funeral, even though at the time they didn't speak a single word and the other said he didn't even see him. The second time they met in the halls of a recording studio. He was there to spit something on a feature and Kentrell had arrived to hang out with his friend, Joe. They sort of bumped into each other. Nau'jour smirked and spit some fast game instead of those lyrics. He left Kentrell flustered and grinning while Kentrell left him with his number.

That was the start of all of this. A month after Von's death and Durk's coma, they were a thing. And in the beginning it was all sunshine and rainbows. Nau'jour can always control himself and his anger and jealousy and insecurity at first. A huge plus in his favor was the messy public breakdown between his relationship with Durk. Nau'jour discovered quickly that he could bring up the latter's name in his favor all the time. He could compare him to himself, how he treated him verses how he treats him, how he loved him verses how he loves him.

Just to be loved is the main thing Kentrell wants. To be clear, Nau'jour does love him. It's just.. his love is fractured and distorted. He grew up watching his father sling his mother across the room out of love. Or throw her out of a dining chair if dinner wasn't what he wanted. Or beat her face in if she looked up and another man happened to be standing in her vicinity. As a child he believed initially that the violence was wrong. Until one day his father sit him down and summed up everything he'd ever need to know about love; love is great but love alone will not suffice. Control and oppression are more powerful than love alone. Adding the other two into love will ensure love lasts forever.

Or until one day you fuck up and sling her a little too hard. And her head bounces off the wall at an awkward angle and she collapses on the floor, limp. And even though you are screaming her name and commanding that she stand and her kids are crying out 'mama, mama, get up!' repeatedly... she does not budge. Until you throw a lamp, nearest object, at her fallen figure and she still doesn't move. So out of anger you storm over and grab her neck, ready to lift hoist her to her feet one way or another... Only to discover upon beckoning the pads of your fingers into her flesh... that her veins are no longer pulsating with blood.

You curse, you curse her, God and the Heavens above for what they all collectively made you do. Then you look up at your crying children and order everyone to shut up. And they do... out of fear. They do as told and go to bed without supper that night. Next morning go to school without breakfast as you shuffle into work trying to wrap your mind around what you did last night. What you did and how to get away with it. How to dispose of a body. A body that lingers in the house for days, three in fact. Rotting and smelling before you and your oldest son drag her into the garage.

You really think you're getting away with this one, you're all prepared to dump her in the forest the next day. But before that could happen your youngest child tells a teacher. Who calls the principals of the other schools. Who pulls your other children in. Who all confess. And on your lunch break, cops roll in to arrest you for murder.

Control and oppression last as long as the body can endure the pain and the heart has the willpower to beat. Nau'jour would never do Kentrell like that, Kentrell has no idea just how good he has it. He gets slapped a few times and wants to cry like bitch shit the hell up my mama used to get thrown into walls.

Sure, he has other ways to control him... mostly psychological... although he does have his fun but he'd never ever hurt him. He'd never kill him either. Because if you love someone you should never do things that could lead to their death. Kentrell is so lucky that he's a better man than his father used to be.

This entire time, trapped in thought, he was staring at a pad of paper in front of him.

"Toosii!" James scoff. "Fuck's wrong wit you, mane?"

Jumping as he shakes his head. He looks at his friend and stands out of the chair. "My bad, man. Let's go 'head and get this started. I want this single out asap."