30 - You're Still A Bad Dancer

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I woke up with the bitter taste of last night still on my tongue

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I woke up with the bitter taste of last night still on my tongue. Costa had promised to be there for me at the award ceremony, but he let me down.

Then his stupid cousins go and smash my trophy to rub salt into the wound. Actually, it was more like acid. That's not to mention Rocco laughing in the background - stupid little bitch.

Costa's apology last night did nothing to calm the anger and hurt that simmered inside me. I spent the entire day curled up in bed trying to process how yesterday became such a train wreck.

Yet, I actually won. With the way my heart was hurting, one would think I lost at the awards ceremony.

I was actually surprised by how hurt I was when I realised Costa wasn't coming last night. I sat patiently just waiting for him to come rushing in, flashing me that irritating grin as he sat down next to me with utter confidence and composure.

Because Costantino Salvatore Accardi always finds a way.

That's what I believed. I believed it would be okay. He said he'd make it to the event so I just knew he'd be there.

But he didn't come.

After I kicked him out last night, I struggled to keep control of my emotions. I got ready for bed in a tearful daze, sobbing quietly in the empty bedroom.

No one really talks about the paradox that occurs when you miss the person who hurt you.

Costa was the reason for 90% of my sadness - his family being responsible for the remaining 10%.

But I wanted him with me - for reasons I couldn't fathom. I wanted him to hold me like he did when I had that nightmare about Viktor Kozlov. I wanted his comfort.

I ached for that comfort all night long and then the following day. Yet, I was so full of anger at him that I refused to leave the room out of fear that I'd run into him.

From what I knew, they were all out of the penthouse all day. But I still didn't risk going downstairs. I couldn't bear the thought of seeing any of them.

I was actually thankful for once that Costa had so many staff working in the penthouse during the day. It meant I could have food and supplies brought to me.

I was happy taking my meals in bed - and all my snacks in between, of course.

I was sad. I deserved to snack.

I spent the day watching movies while creating a new list of extremely creative insults I could use towards my husband during our next fight.

This bitch didn't know what was about to hit him.

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