Guilty as Sin?: Remus Lupin x Y/N (Book 2)

this is me trying

"my words shoot to kill when I'm mad..."

-

The journey to London was relatively easy, with Arthur marvelling at the tubes, the ticket barriers and well, pretty much everything to do with muggles. Normally it may have been a bit irritating, but it provided a welcome distraction for Harry, who was deathly silent, the nerves racking him. Y/N accompanied the two, being allowed to follow Harry into the courtroom, on the condition that she stay silent. She had only been allowed because he was a minor, and frankly the ministry was slightly scared of her, so much so that when she had written a letter to them posing the idea (more like stating what would be happening) last night as soon as she heard the news, they had accepted her offer immediately. They didn't need to be upsetting their most promising new auror during a time like this- they needed everyone on their side.

The trial itself was... interesting. Dumbledore had appeared, settling himself into a comfy armchair, much to Y/N and Harry's amusements. He did not seem as worried as the two of them did, and managed to persuade the majority of the wizenagamot with the help of Mrs Figg, a member of the order Y/N had heard mentioned, though she had never met the older woman. 

Y/N felt the sympathy rise in her chest once more as she watched Harry's relief at his overturned conviction fall rapidly with the disappearance of his headmaster in spite of his calls. He made eye contact with her briefly, before looking at the floor, miserable and confused. Y/N wished once more that she could help him, but there was nothing she could say.

-

When they returned to 12 Grimmauld Place, Harry was whisked off quickly after the initial celebrations at the news to help Molly clean the house and rid it of the various pests that had made themselves at home during the years of absence of anybody. Y/N was also roped into helping, but she kept to the back of the room, interfering only to cast a few charms that would help the others, like slow movement charms, which stopped a few rogue Cornish pixies from doing too much damage, though Ron's hair was suddenly missing a large chunk in the back. He hadn't seemed to notice, and Y/N wasn't going to be the person to tell him, she would leave that to Hermione who, she was sure, would somewhat enjoy seeing his face fall at the discovery. When it came time to have a lunch break, she followed Molly down to the kitchen, wanting to talk to someone about Dumbledore's plan.

"Oh, Y/N dear, would you pass me the butter? Thank you."

"Mrs Weasley, can I talk to you for a moment?"

The motherly figure looked up from buttering the bread ready to make a plateful of various sandwiches, concerned. She knew Y/N well by now, having watched her grow from a slightly awkward teenager to a powerful young woman. Molly had invited Y/N over for Christmas, and to stay for a few days over the summers, when she heard the twins talking about their older friend. Percy had disputed their claims that she was a troublemaker as his younger brothers had claimed, talking both with admiration and jealousy at his classmate, who was the only person who could score higher than him in a test, and comprehend new spells, charms or potions faster than him. Molly had somewhat hoped that he would make himself acquainted with her over the years, longing for him to learn the balance Y/N had between her studies and her leisure time. But, alas, he was too focused on studying and revising, desperately trying to be able to finally outdo her one day. Having known her so well, Molly knew it wasn't like her to ask to talk about something, and her mind jumped to the worst. 

"Is everything alright, dear?"

"Yes, well, I think so anyway. It should be, at least."

The vague answer only raised Molly's anxieties. She had seen Y/N's change of personality last year, watching as she kept to herself, barely eating, talking, sleeping. She was only just getting back to herself when everything happened at the tournament a few months ago, and it had upset Molly greatly to watch as she seemed to regress once more. But soon enough, with the twins' help, who could now perform magic (much to Molly's annoyance, who seemed to be finding new tricks and practical jokes every day), she was laughing and smiling once more. Molly didn't care as much if the pranks came from her mind, though she acted as though they did, but it was just proof that Y/N was herself again.

Y/N sighed, resting her chin in her hand. "When Dumbledore came last night, he told me that I'm to go back to Hogwarts this year- as a student."

"What?"

"Yep..."

"But... that makes no sense. Why?"

"He wants me to watch over Harry again."

"But as a student? Surely you'll be recognised in a heartbeat? If not by most of the students, by all of the staff. You had a reputation that isn't going to be forgotten anytime soon."

"Yeah, exactly. So I have to take polyjuice potion everyday. I have to go back as a completely different person. The cover story is that I'm a transfer student from Ilvermony school, brought back to England by my parents because they want to have me close by again..."

"Who's hair will you use?"

"Dumbledore said he's already sorted it, and if I'm honest, I didn't ask who. I'm not sure I want to know. He's been brewing the potion for months now so its strong enough that I won't need to take it more than twice a day, and he's going to keep brewing it for the rest of the year too."

Molly was silent, slowly sinking into her chair, trying to understand the information she had been presented with. 

"Dumbledore said that I could modify his polyjuice potion though- I've erm, I've been working on my own potion modifications." Y/N blushed, not knowing that Molly was well aware of the potion sets she had in her room. "Anyway, I should be able to change the polyjuice potion so that you will still see me as me, while everyone else sees the other face. I thought that you, Mr Weasley and then obviously Dumbledore should be able to recognise me, just in case, you know? And I think Snape is also going to know per Dumbledore's request, so I guess I should add him to my spell too." She rolled her eyes jokily.

Molly's heart rose in pride, honoured to have been added to the list. She viewed Y/N as an extension of her own family, and she saw this as confirmation that Y/N viewed herself the same way.

"But Harry won't know?"

Y/N shook her head, her eyes still on the table. "Dumbledore thinks its for the best if as little people as possible know. I guess he's right... The less people that know the less chance there is of someone else finding out."

"Yes I suppose so. Y/N dear, is something else bothering you?"

"It's going to sound so stupid, Mrs Weasley, but I just always thought that when I went back to Hogwarts, it would be as me. I'd be a professor of, I don't even know. Charms? Transfiguration? Maybe even the annually available post of defence against the dark arts. I didn't think I'd be going back as an undercover guard one year, then as a random girl the next pretending to be a student again. You know?"

Molly nodded, not knowing what to say. She had been so focused on watching Y/N's face that she hadn't even realised the girl had been making the sandwiches, and with a shake of her head she stood up holding the platter. "We should go give these to the others, before Ron kills someone." The ginger woman smiled at her as she turned and began to leave the kitchen, feeling sorry for her. The poor thing was so young, and yet she had the brunt of so much responsibility on her shoulders. She couldn't help also feeling some relief, knowing that Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and the twins would have someone else at the castle who would be looking out for them. Even though Dumbledore had instructed Y/N to watch Harry, Molly had no doubts she would extend that defence onto the others too.

"Oh, Mrs Weasley? Please dont tell anyone other than Mr Weasley, Dumbledore wouldn't appreciate it if everyone knew, even if they didn't know what I looked like."

"Of course not dear."

Neither of the women had realised that someone else was listening, until Y/N left the kitchen and nearly walked into him.

"You can't be serious." Remus said.

"What?" Y/N sighed.

"You can't go ahead with this whole plan. I know Dumbledore asked you to, but it's way too dangerous. What if something goes wrong? What if you forget to take the potion? I think it's a bad idea, Y/N."

"I don't recall asking for your opinion, Lupin." 

She didn't stay to hear any other response from him, though he had no words to speak even if he had been able to, a storm of emotions whirling their way around his mind.