Guilty as Sin?: Remus Lupin x Y/N (Book 2)

The Archer

"I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost..."

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Please be aware that this chapter includes graphic information about using Umbridge's Blood Quill. Reader discretion is advised.

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When Y/N's eyes focused on her surroundings, the brightness knocking her senses when she had initially opened them, she couldn't remember how shed ended up in the Shrieking Shack. The light outside the small window told her it was probably afternoon- hadn't she gone to her bed after her detention?

The warmth in the bed jolted her brain into action- the Shrieking Shack... where Remus was staying...

It all came flooding back with a force that would have knocked her off her feet if she wasn't still tucked under the quilt in the bed that she'd realised was his. She had come here last night. She could feel the tension that swam in her memories, looking down at him kneeled in front of her as he gently kissed her hand. 

She slowly turned around, desperate not to make any sudden movements, to make sure he was still asleep. To her luck, and partial disappointment (not that she'd admit to having any), he was still out of it, his mouth slightly open. Y/N forced herself not to stare, not to dwell on the feelings that the sight sprung up in her. This was all too familiar, and it was threatening to make her comfortable- she couldn't bear it. She was angry enough at herself that she had bothered him so early in the morning, or late at night depending, that she couldn't allow herself to also become attached to him again. She wouldn't let the feelings continue, she wouldn't allow them to grow into anything. If she let herself think about it, maybe Y/N would have realised that for something to grow, there must be a root.

Slowly, so slowly, she rose up off the bed, slipping on her shoes that had been carefully placed at the end of the bed last night. She tried to tiptoe out of the room, looking back at him with every placement of her foot, cringing whenever the floorboards creaked. 

If Remus were a different man, perhaps he would have told her that he was awake. He might have sat up, and asked why she was slipping away from him without saying goodbye. Maybe he would have picked her up and put her back in bed, wrapping his arms around her, keeping her still while he tried to go back to sleep. But he wasn't a different man, he was himself, and he wouldn't do anything that would make her even slightly uncomfortable or against her wishes. If she wanted to leave without speaking to him, then that's what she could do. 

He would be lying if it didn't leave his head spinning slightly. Last night when she had turned up, he had assumed that it meant... That when they went to sleep in the same bed again, when he had the best nights sleep he'd managed in far too long, her warmth and weight dipping into the mattress a comfort she would never understand, she had been... He was a fool to allow his hopes to cloud his judgement- she was tired and hurt, it had meant nothing to her. He couldn't say the same.

If he had spoken to her, he would know that it hadn't meant nothing to her either. 

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Y/N found herself back at the common room following a confused walk back, trying to figure out the whirlwind of emotions that were rushing around her mind. 

"Are you just getting back from detention?" Cedric's voice summoned her attention back to the room. He was sat on the sofa, looking up at her concerned.

"What? Oh, no. I went for a walk this morning."

It was clear that she hadn't fooled Cedric. An incredulous look filled his face, one eyebrow raised. The good thing about Dumbledore giving her a room to herself (under the excuse that since the other girls all had their pre-established friendships, and Y/N would only be there a year, it felt counter-productive to disturb the way everyone had been operating for years) was that no one could confirm her absence all night and morning, and Cedric wasn't going to accuse her of lying. Y/N flopped onto the sofa next to him, leaning her head back against the back and staring at the ceiling.