Nakatatagong Mga Tula

it's true not true

the sun has woken me up by its rays
wondering how long will u keep me at bay
will the horizon finally reach past its limits
or will it stay forever hidden beneath
sideways, over or under; how can i tell
u walked, u smiled, u talked, i fell

second week of december
painful regrets, traumas and burning embers
tiniest moments of smallest minutes
it was hazy but u held my hand at least
cant even blame anyone for this
just put me on top of ur list
i was cold but u loved the heat
longing for ur touch "when can we finally meet"

third day of january
i wasnt aware, wasnt easy, was wary
of everything that didnt felt right
but felt so good
cant even say yes, nothing is in sight
u held my hand in spite
of everything troubling my mind

it felt right.

im still waiting

still waiting

and

waiting

six months of hanging in a beam
i used to see ur face through this dim
the light in my lampshade used to glow so much brighter
the flap in my wings used to soar much higher
these eyes were brazen and used to look so much braver
but i also loved him so much greater
that i forgot how
how to be 'this much'
and how to love u now this much

if u cant even hold my hand tighter
on how this weight cant even be lighter
when im around u it feels heavier
it feels harder
that holding on aint what i used to be
but i still am holding on
to something i cant even hold much longer.

it's true not true 
that i like this
true not true 
that i want this
not true
wanted to leave
true
that i believed

it's true not true
will always choose u
true not true
it will always be u