I'm Coming, Baby Girl

Chapter Twelve

Chapter 12

-Flashback-

The night before the Games, I'm scared. I'm worried about going into the Games with a baby inside me. Peeta warned them in the interviews, but I'm sure they didn't believe it. They probably just think that it's a ploy to stop the Games so that we don't have to endure what they've been creating for us these last few months. It's been three months roughly since that night and I'm not showing at all. I just look a little more plump but I'm sure they can blame what they feed us for that and not the fact I could actually be pregnant. I lay in my bed, worried about what will be in store for us tomorrow morning when we start the beginning of the last few days of my life. I run a hand over my very small bump, I wonder what it would look like? Peeta or me? I'm sure the blonde would carry over, Peeta and his brothers are all very similar looking. Prim and my mother, the same. Myself, no. I will never find out. It will die with me... As much as I don't want Peeta to deal with that pain, he will not be able to save myself and it. I'm sure once they actually do know I'm pregnant, it will be ripped from my body and put far away from Peeta. Used as a ploy for something terrible. I don't even want to think about it...

My terror inducing thoughts are interrupted by a soft knock at the door. I know it's Peeta. He's come in every night since I told him I was pregnant. He doesn't wanna be away from me. And neither do I. I want to spend every minute of the rest of my life with him. I rise from the bed, adjusting the nightgown I wear so I don't flash anything to him, not that it matters. He's seen it all. But, all of my body is starting to change with this child inside me. I don't particularly want to show Peeta, he will be disgusted. I tiptoe to the door and unlock it, letting him inside. I walk back to the bed and turn to face the window, looking out to the skyscrapers which surround our tower. I feel the bed dip and Peeta's warm body comes close to me, his arms engulfing me against his chest.

"I tried, Katniss." His voice smaller than a mouse, his head resting against my shoulder.

I don't answer because he knows that I know that. I just keep my eyes looking outside, on a massive screen outside which is just out of view but not enough so I can't see what's on. They are broadcasting the previous Games which all of us Victor's have competed in. It's showing Chaff's, highlighting his time. I try not to look, it will make it seem even more real that soon it'll happen again. I move my eyes from the screen and just watch the flashing lights of Capitol people's apartments which are just small squares and rectangles of lights into other people's lives.

"You're going to get out of there. I don't want you to do something stupid like sacrifice yourself and our child for my life, Katniss. What will I do once I come back from the Games? Just sit alone and wanting you and our child knowing I can never have it."

"You deserve to go and get another girl, Peeta. It's nothing but a small piece of blood, skin and maybe a bone. It's basically mucus. I don't even know if it has a heartbeat yet." I try to explain. I know it's true that's what it probably is, but I don't want to get attached to it. I know it's very unlikely to live through the stress I'm going to endure going into the Games, let alone if I do manage to come out again, without Peeta beside me.

Peeta's arms unravel from my small body, his breath changing into deep disappointing breaths. He pushes himself off the bed, starting to pace around the room. He's huffing. I know I can be blunt, which I just was. I think possibly it may have been too much for Peeta the night before we both go to die in Games. I push myself up against the green satin pillows, watching Peeta have an internal battle on whether to scold me now or just keep his mouth shut. His hands run through his hair and frustratedly drags them down his face, his curls bouncing back to their place on his forehead.