Stay Stay Stay ||Choi Yeonjun||

15

I slouch down on the sofa in the shared living room of our suite. My body was screaming after standing and running around for almost the whole day, directing the work being done. A week had already passed and we were almost done. We both worked ceaselessly and in tandem. We bounced around ideas, made some alterations, and just overall it was a nice time. Mr. Choi's experience helped. Working with him was breezy. Our compatibility surprised me, how often we thought alike and wanted similar things even unconsciously.

He was very caring, making sure I ate and slept on time. It almost made me wonder if he did it only for me, if I was an exception. But that was delusional. He is a magnanimous man, he would do it for anybody.

But a question I pondered on was my feelings. It was evident I felt something for him, in the way my eyes would find him in a crowded place, how my heart raced everytime he was near, the pleasant buzz I felt when he took care of me and how I felt like talking forever with him even if it was to discuss the varnish on floorboards. I was always aware about him, everywhere he went, what he was doing.

Had I moved on from Jake? Definitely. I think I knew in the back of my mind Jake never liked me. He was a good friend but that was where it ended. I'm not even sure he registered me as a woman he could like romantically. My feelings were nothing but a burden for him. My feelings died that night at the restaurant.

However, was I ready for something new? Even if it was with Mr. Choi? He may never reciprocate my feelings which were growing everyday. I couldn't go through that again. The biggest issue with unrequited love was the insecurity it caused. I was always wondering what was wrong with me? How could I change myself to make him like me? I had only just started gaining some confidence and battle with my insecurities. This time, I would only focus on myself and my career. If destiny takes me somewhere, to someone, then I'll embrace it. But I won't go out of my way to seek it.

"Mr. Min called. Do you want to go for some ramen? I could deny if you're feeling too tired, he will understand."

The promise of delicious food brought forth a burst of energy, and I immediately jumped at the chance. An hour later, our cab zipped through the streets and dropped us off at an old-fashioned ramen house. The sliding doors opened to show off the vintage booths. It was quite occupied, just shy of being overcrowded. Yeonjun led me to our table where Mrs. Min was already seated with Sinji. He held my hand as I slid over then went off to join Mr. Min who was ordering.

"How are you, Ahrin? "

"I'm doing quite fine, thank you. How are you all, Mrs. Min? Sinji are you enjoying your vacation? "

"Ah, Ahrin please don't call me Mrs. Min, no need of such formalities after all we have grown quite close right? Just call me Chanmi. "

I just nodded, beaming at her. Sinji then regaled me with all the adventures she went on. The men returned and few minutes later so did our Ramen.

"Here Ahrin, your ramen with some extra bean sprouts. Yeonjun said you love it, so I got some extra for you. Enjoy! "

"Oh! Thank you so much, yes I love the crunch. "

He nodded smiling and we all started slurping down the hot noodles. Conversation flowed and they asked me various questions. But my mind kept revolving on how Yeonjun knew I liked sprouts. I bought some at the supermarkets to add to the cup ramens we sometimes had for late dinners when we both were too tired to cook and too hungry to wait for room service. But the fact that he noticed....

"Uh.. So the work is almost done and we were thinking how November is the absolutely best season for skiing, so we were thinking of going to a ski resort next week. You two should join us and don't worry, I cleared it up with Ceo Park. "

"We are so obliged that—"

"Yeonjun, you both deserve it. It is a small token of appreciation. Plus, it will hardly be two days. And you two could use the extra ski apparel we brought with us. "

"Okay, thank you so much. "

We both thanked them profusely. Sinji also seemed to be bursting with excitement and talked about skiing, and all the other tons of activities we would do together.

When we left the restaurant, I was so full and so sleepy I could barely walk straight.

"Sir, do you know how to ski? "

Yeonjun looked at me, then looked away before answering.

"I used to. Can't say about now, though. "

"I have never done it. I'm afraid I'll fall and break my neck."

This makes Yeonjun laugh out loud, and it is one of the most pleasant sound I've ever heard. It is smooth and rich, tinged with amusement.

"Don't you worry, Ahrin. I'll be there. You won't break your neck. I'll never let you fall. "

The next week, we both pick up the work with great speed so we can relax later. Soon enough our work was done. The result looked very much wonderful, just what I wanted for little Sinji. And the pride in Mr. Choi's eyes as he looks at me is the added bonus. It makes my knees weak, and a warm fluttering in my stomach.

Mr. Min and Chanmi picked us up from the lobby of our hotel. The ski resort is almost three hours away. At first I was enjoying the journey, looking out the window. It was so peaceful. Mr. Min and Yeonjun were cracking some jokes about skiing, making all of us laugh. The laughter, the cozy feeling, everything felt so nostalgic. Like the time when we four went on a road trip after college. We four had met after so long because all of us went to different colleges and hence couldn't meet up regularly. It was hard to meet up on weekends or be on long phone calls when we were almost burried under assignments and exams. But that trip? God, it felt like nothing had changed! Sure, after that we all went back to our lives, Jaehan worked hard to open his cafe, Hana slaved away at her internship, Jake pursued his dream of engineering while I took a chance to become an interior designer.

See, I never questioned if my friends loved me. I knew they did. After all we were adults, it will not be the same. But then I think about their absolute disinterest. In the last few months before Jake leaving, I saw them go out together or them meeting their other friends. They would never really ask me out, and if I happened to be there they would say I was tired from my job.

They never really cared if I complained about how my boss treats me or the others bullied me. They would just say it happens and I should ignore them. And even with my new job, they didn't want to know once how it was going. I texted Hana quite a couple of times after her transfer to Busan, but she either didn't reply or gave late curt answers.

Well then I figured they didn't need me Or want me. I tried to hold onto our withering friendship for old time's sake. But how much could I do? You cannot run a friendship all on your own, it's a two-side street.

"What are you thinking so deeply, hmm? "

My line of thoughts broke. Yeonjun looked at me with a soft, curious gaze.

"Nothing really. Just... Uh leave it. I don't know why I was thinking so much when I should be enjoying. "

"Well trips surely bring back old times right?... I'm thinking of it too. "

"Well, I'm an excellent listener. You ever want to talk, you find me sir. I'll listen to you. "

"Same applies to you. I'm just here and I'll listen. "

We smiled at each other. The quiet moment was broken with a notification sound. Bora and Suyeong sent me pics of them eating in cafeteria with crying faces. Below there was a slew of crying emojis and 'I miss you' stickers.

My mood restored, I returned back to gazing out of the window. I hoped this trip would be fun for all of us.

Except, I should know better than to spite the universe by declaring war like this.