Stay Stay Stay ||Choi Yeonjun||

20

I tapped my foot, thinking about what I should do. I had given Hana and Suyeong their presents during lunch and received a prettily packed gift from Hana. I gave Hueningkai his gift. Cha Siwon saw Hueningkai walking me out of his office while hugging. If eyes could kill, I would be six feet under already. I could care less, though. Hueningkai was my friend and that back-stabbing wench could go jump in a lake. I don't care that she stole my work, but what she did to Hueningkai was unforgivable.

But we're digressing from the issue at hand which is the fact that I've no idea on how to give Yeonjun his gift. Like, should I wait for him, or should I just keep it on his desk? But I don't want to enter his office without his permission. It would be an abuse of privacy. I don't want to face him. What if he thinks I'm crossing a boundary? I mean what if—

"I can hear your brain working overtime, you know? "

I jump a bit and turn around to see Yeonjun looking at me with an amused smirk.

"My office is open to all of you, anytime. If any of you are facing any difficulties, you all are free to visit me or wait in my office."

I followed Yeonjun inside and took a seat in one of the chairs. I chewed on my lip, figuring out how to approach this. Yeonjun waited for me to collect my thoughts.

I placed the small box neatly wrapped in festive looking paper , on his desk. He looks at it with wide unsure eyes.

"Merry Christmas in advance. I was planning on getting you a gift and when I saw this I knew it was meant for you. Please accept this. "

I kept my head down as I couldn't look up in his eyes. I peeked slightly. Yeonjun was looking thoughtfully at it, fidgeting with it.

"Why? "

"What?! I — I'm sorry, I should have known. I'm sorry—"

"No, I just— I just want to know why you got me this gift? I love it, but I just want to know why... "

Yeonjun was peering at me. His eyes were probing at my face, trying to discern something. My throat was dry. What answer did he want from me?

"It's, uhmm... Have I not shown it enough? I really appreciate you. You— you have become someone I hold really close to my heart. You've cared for me in a way I thought wasn't possible for any of my friends, let alone my boss. I consider you my friend. "

Yeonjun hangs on to each word that leaves my lips. When I'm done, he lets out a sigh and shifts back into his chair. I couldn't decipher his look, somewhere between gratitude and something I couldn't quite place...

"I really appreciate it, cherish that you think of me as someone worthy of your, uhm.. care. I got you a gift too. Like you, I saw it and I knew I had to get it for you. But I thought to give it to you later, preferably on Christmas."

"Oh you didn't have to—"

"Well YOU didn't have to either, but you still did. "

I giggled at him. We then talked about some work related things. Then I went onto finish my work.

As I was leaving a few hours later, my phone rang. Mrs. Sim was calling me. I quickly pick up, wondering if there's an emergency.

"Hey Auntie! What is it? Are you okay? "

"Yeah, Rinnie. I'm fine. It's just, it's Jakie's birthday and I just didn't want to wish him alone. "

I mentally facepalmed. I had absolutely forgotten about it. And I heard the hesitation in Auntie's voice, so I agreed to come by. It must have been hard for her to cope with Jake's absence.

The cab reached her house in almost fifteen minutes. I rang the bell and immediately drew Auntie into a hug once she opened the door. She had the laptop propped up.

"Sit comfortably, Rinnie. I'm sorry, you must be tired from your job and yet I called you here. "

"No Auntie, it's okay. I'm not tired."

She just held my hand more tightly as she video called Jake. He picked up after a few rings. He was sitting on his bed, wearing a white tee and hair tousled in a way which took me back to college.

We both wished him, and then I sat silently as the mother-son talked with each other. And as I sat there, I felt relieved. Maybe in some corner of my mind I had the fear that even though I claim to have moved on, it will all crumble down when I sit face to face with him again. But now, all I feel is nothing. My heart doesn't race, my breath doesn't quicken and my stomach doesn't feel fluttery. I had moved on from my puppy love, indeed.

"I made a small cake— I'll bring it okay? "

Auntie leaves the two of us alone. I look back at Jake and he sports his familiar smirk.

"How are you? You are looking really pretty. Are you returning from somewhere? "

"Yeah, I just came from work. "

"Work?! But you never dressed up for work! "

I looked down at my lavender sweater and  beige trousers. It's simple. I mean, I did put some effort these days as I was enthusiastic to go to work and meet up with my friends.

"I do now, because I love my job. Enough about me. How's life in Cali? "

"Its—"

He looked hesitant to tell me, his eyes looking everywhere except at me and lip quivering.

"Rinnie-ah, I,.. Do you remember when you made me that white chocolate and blueberry cheesecake for my birthday? I really miss you. Why don't you call me anymore? "

"I'm sorry Jake. I just have been really busy. I just returned from a work trip. And then, I was settling down. Well, it's not like you responded back. "

Jake's face grows stormier. I couldn't place if I said anything wrong. What was he getting mad at, if the muscle ticking in his jaw was any hint.

"So what Jaehan said was true, huh? You forget us all for who? Those new, shiny friends and that boss of yours? You don't call, you don't care about any of us! Soon you'll see how they all leave you behind."

I think it took me a solid minute to process his words. His accusations lacerated me. His insinuation of them leaving me hit even deeper. Then all I felt was rage, blind, furious, rage.

"How DARE you Jake! You have NO right to say any of that. Let me just show you the reality before you speak more of such nonsense.

You're saying I don't call you, but did you pick up when I did? Did you reply to my texts?! And you might say you were busy, but so was I. Yet I didn't get a single reply back from you or Hana.

I don't care about you all, huh?! Well then explain it to me Jake, who was there when you were sick in college? Who was there all those nights when you were scared and nervous, breaking down about if you were good enough for the goddamned job? Who was there to help Hana through her weeklong wedding or helping Jaehan set up his new cafe?!

I don't mean to brag about all I did. But you're forcing me to. Tell me were any of you there when I told you all so many times how Dawon was bullying me? Were any of you on my side? You all just swept it all under the rug!

And don't even remind of all the outings to clubs you three took. Did you ever ask me to join? Now finally, after years I find a positive workplace with good people who care about me and you can't even tolerate my happiness!"

I knew I looked ugly, with tears streaming down my face which was red from all the screaming. Jake looked back wide eyed. Yes take it. You are not the good friend you think you are.

" Do you even know why Hana wasn't replying to you?! "

"Well you know, that must mean she was replying to you! "

Jake just ran his hand through his hair, messing it more. He looked tired.

"She had a miscarriage... "