Chapter 18

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Kokichi was still shaking.

He was staring at his hands, not quite believing that he was seeing them, whole and healthy. He tried moving his fingers, for the hundredth time, and he nearly cried, when he was able to bend them, and wiggle his toes.

He didn't deserve this.

After everything he'd done, and after the things he'd done to these people, he was lucky to be alive, let alone be given a second chance, and the opportunity to live a normal life, for the first time.

But, the fact that it was all because of Itadori, whom he was on board with killing just a couple weeks ago, was a bitter pill to swallow.

Kokichi felt the guilt eating at him, and he wished that there was a way for him to apologize, and make up for the things he'd done. He owed the boy, and the rest of the students, an apology, but he had no idea where to start.

And, the worst part was that none of his schoolmates even knew what he'd done, and that they had no idea about his betrayal.

The mere thought of telling them made Kokichi nauseous.

Actually, the thought of even meeting them - really meeting them, with his real body, and not a puppet - was enough to make him want to crawl out of his own skin. What would they think of him?

What would Miwa think of him?

He imagined being able to touch her skin, to feel the warmth of her hand, and he felt his cheeks heating up. He could feel his heartbeat quickening, and he let out a quiet sigh, as he stared at his hands.

The feeling was still new, and it was going to take a while for him to get used to it.

He was startled by the door opening, and he glanced up, quickly.

"Kokichi-kun, are you feeling alright? Did you manage to get used to your body?" Gojo asked, walking into the room.

Kokichi had no idea how to answer the man's questions.

"Yes," he mumbled, finally, and lowered his head.

"You don't sound very sure," Gojo said, chuckling, and Kokichi felt his face heating up. "I suppose it will take a while for you to get used to your own body. I bet it feels strange, after all this time, right?"

"It's not that. I mean, it's also that, but... it's complicated," Kokichi mumbled, and clenched his fists.

"You're still feeling guilty," Gojo stated, calmly.

"Of course, I am!" Kokichi exclaimed, raising his voice. "I betrayed all of you, and you just forgave me and fixed my body, like nothing happened! How can you all be so kind and accepting, when I don't even deserve it?!"

"We can't change the past, but we can decide what to do from now on," Gojo said, simply, and Kokichi was quiet, his chest heaving. "Your actions hurt us, yes. But, we know why you did it. We understand, and we've accepted that. You are a student at Kyoto Jujutsu Tech, and a part of our team. We forgive you, and we trust you, now. Isn't that enough?"

Kokichi couldn't stop his tears, anymore, and he covered his face, crying.

"I-I don't deserve it," he sobbed, his shoulders shaking.

"It's not about deserving it or not. It's about learning from the past, and moving on," Gojo said, calmly, and his words made Kokichi feel worse.

How could the man stay so calm, and accept him so easily, when Kokichi didn't even know how to accept himself?

"They will never forgive me," Kokichi whispered, and Gojo sighed.

"You don't have to tell them, if you don't want to. But, I think they'll understand, if you do," Gojo replied. "They are very understanding people. I'm sure they won't hate you."

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