His secret

chapter 14

what happened in past 24 hour has been unbelievable, Let's take a moment to reflect on the events of the past day, not even, less then a day

i was chased by Ghostface, lost my virginity to a man who threatened to kill me, he gave me a massage, i don't even want to remember that part, he made me breakfast, and talked about MRT and then drove me home, 

yes, home where i am currently being scolded by Kori, and he's really getting on my nerves right now

"what the hell were you thinking?! I told you to not come out" Kori says, he's trying to keep his voice calm, act as if he's not mad, he's not doing good job hiding it though

"it's fine Kori. I can handle myself" i try to assure him

"Handle yourself? You could've been harmed so fucking bad Abigail, you don't even understand, do you know how some man cam out of there, they broke their leg, nose and arm even"

"I knew what I was doing, okay? I signed up for it" i sigh, then i spoke aging "I can handle myself, Kori. You worry too much."

" Damn right I worry! Because you never seem to think about the consequences of your actions" is he serious right now?

"I had my reasons for going, okay? "

"is it worth getting  seriously hurt, or worse?"

"I'm not some fragile doll, Kori. I can take care of myself" i furrow my eyebrows

"dammit! You can't just go traipsing off to MRT like it's some walk in the park!"

"Back off, Kori, I'm independent and capable, not in need of rescue." i remind him

"No, you're not. But you're damn sure acting like you're invincible!"

"I know what I'm doing, Kori. I don't need you breathing down my neck all the time"

"You think this is me being overprotective? Damn right it is! Because I don't want to wake up to news that you've gotten yourself killed!"

"I'm not asking you to save me, Kori. I'm asking you to trust me"

"Trust you? After you pull stunts like this? Trust has to be earned, not by promising something and then braking it"

"oh really, look who's talking, mind as well tell me what you do for work, and don't you try to laugh it of"

"that's not we're talking about rig-" i cut him off

"yes, yes we are, don't change the subject, go on, tell me" i stand here with my arms crossed waiting for him to speak up

"Abigail-"

"don't Abigail me, tell me, because i can tell you why i went there, you know why? because i have debt to pay off, collage tuitions to pay for, rent to pay, not counting and daily things, i needed money, i can't pay for them because i been fired" i take deep breathe in and then let it out

"now, ready to tell me or?" i add

he stands there, is he really not going to tell me?

"I've been doing different things, nothing specific, i don't understand why are you so eager to know where i work" he narrows his eyes

I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now, is it anger, disappointment, saddens that he's lying to me, maybe even all of it at the same time.

i look at him as i breath heavily "Get the fuck out Kori, come back once you're ready to tell the truth" i yell at him as i try to kick him out

"what truth Abigail" acting clueless, classic 

"Kaden Silvestri, brings any bells?" i confront him, and god only if you could see his face right now, face he made when he realized that he has been caught

"Aibig-" i shut the door before he could say anything, i walk back to my bedroom

i don't know what to do, how to act, anger rips through me like a sudden storm, we never had an argument before, this is the first, 

each time something like this happens, when anger mixes with sadness i want to move, change places, to go live somewhere else, to leave everything behind just the way i did  back then, but i know i can't, i can't run away from problems by moving away. because i won't be able to forget them

I crouched beside the bed, i don't know what to do, i feel lost

i feel tears drop on my cheeks, i want my mom, and dad too, i want my brother, but they are no longer here, i need them so bad, just a hug would fix up everything

i cry for a while, about my family, about earlier fight, i then stand up and wash my face to wake my up from this depressed state, sometimes i feel like giving up, but i know i can't

i won't

because i am Abigail Colette, i have survived much worse, i survived seeing my brother covered in blood, survived car crash that killed my parents, seeing their lifeless body's, seeing as their eyes were watching me knowing their souls are no longer with us, for whole two hours before they could pull me away.

will there ever be a day in my life where i don't think of them, i want to feel loved again, the way they made me feel, as if home walks with me when we would go somewhere.

i haven't really thought about 'feeling loved' since i came here, Kori would keep me occupied by his stupid jokes, flirt and so on.

i sigh, whatever, it is what it is, I'm disappointed but life goes on.