His secret

chapter 21

turns out I'm changing Rafael for a while, Rafael is his assistant and he had to leave due to family issues, as far as i know he doesn't know about what Kaiden does other then this.

"Abby i need-" 

"i have it" i hand Kaiden the list of meetings, maximum time he can spend on it, left him all the information he needs about his clients beforehand

"also clear the calendar for tomorow"

"you have five meeting" i remind him

"i know"

"I'll schedule them for latter then" i ask and once he nods i do that

"and you can leave at eight today, I'm doing overnight" more overnight? i know i haven't been here for a while but he always writes down how many hours he works

usually it's from 9 to six, or from four to nine but sometimes he works overnight, as in not leaving the building, working 12 pulse hours, as i can see here on the screen he did this already twice this week, and it's only Friday, third if we'll count today

"you sure, is there anything i can help with" i question genuinely being curious, 

"you'll be no help... aside making my cock throb" he whispers last part

"Kaid- i mean Sir this is inappropriate" my eyes widened

"Sir? really? you like calling me that" he smirks

"never said that, i was just trying to be supportive, since you're my boss now"

"go rest" he said and then turned around and went to his office

as soon as clock hit eight, i went straight home, I'm not really that tired, i have lot to study, so i get to work

from nine to now 2:00 A.M i haven't stopped a second

I'm not working day shift tomorrow so I can sleep in

"What are you doing here" I don't even look behind me, I Know it's Kaiden

"Do I really need a reason" I just wonder how he always gets in without me knowing, always so quiet

"Why are you sneaking in" I question

"Would you let me in if I asked nicely?"

I turn to him "what if I am" he raises his eyebrow

"And why would you"

"Maybe the same reason you're visiting me late night's" I try to hide my smirk

He comes here but never tries to do anything, have never seduced me, not given me a hint that he wants to fuck me

I think he hasn't realized it yet but I know why he's here, although he won't admit it

He misses me

But... Why?

"Oh yeah?"

"Maybe if you admit the truth" the silence filled the room

"What are you studying" he changes the subject, of course

" I have exam coming up, One of the disorders we've been focusing on recently is Generalized Anxiety Disorder, or GAD."

"Tell me more?" I like talking about what I'm studying, makes me memorize it better,

I remember when I was talking about psychological facts to Kori, he didn't care... Like a lot but he let me talk

"Well," I began, "GAD is characterized by excessive, uncontrollable worry about a variety of topics, events, or activities. This worry is often disproportionate to the actual likelihood or impact of the feared events. People with GAD find it difficult to control their anxiety and often anticipate disaster, even when there's no apparent reason to worry."

" basically they're always expecting the worst?" he asks

"Exactly And this constant state of worry can interfere with their daily life. It affects their ability to focus, sleep, and even their physical health. People with GAD often experience symptoms like restlessness, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, muscle tension, and sleep disturbances."

"but there are several ways to manage GAD,. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT, is one of the most effective treatments. It helps individuals identify and challenge their negative thought patterns and develop healthier ways of thinking and reacting to anxiety-provoking situations. Medications like selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) can also be helpful for some people."

I say all of this proudly while he's just staring at me, listening

"When's the exam" he asks

"In two days" I replied

"How about you tell me you diagnose on why you have trouble sleeping" how does he know that

"PPD, paranoia personality disorder, I think you're familiar with it" I state

"Could be genetic or the trauma"

"Childhood?" He asks, I will answer him, I don't feel bad talking about my disorder

"It's mostly genetic, I had it since I was 13 years old, but after accident with parents it got worse"

"Why" I sign

"Because I saw my parents eyes looking at me knowing they're no longer alive, it happens occasionally but when I close me eyes I see theirs, I see man who got away, standing somewhere near, coming to...me"

But strangely I can fall asleep better when I'm not alone, because I know someone is really actually here and I'm not possibly imagining things

"anyway I'm done studying, i better go to sleep" it's a hit for him to go away but he doesn't gets it

"go on...sleep" he says

"but you're still here"

"scared I'll steal" did he just made a joke?

"was that a joke" i smile but he ignores me, i shook my head and lay in bed

i see him sitting on a chair looking directly at my bed, i ignore his presence turned around and closed my eyes.