The Campus Killings {#LGBTQ #HORROR}

Chapter Eighteen

When Jake awoke the next morning, everyone had already left the room and Willa had seemingly not returned from her midnight wander.

This struck a little fear into him as he sat up, though thankfully, as if on cue, his roommate came sneaking back in, as if she were trying to avoid waking everyone up.

Quickly, she realised that it was only her and Jake, who crossed his arms over his chest and chastised, "Is now really the time to be sneaking out in the middle of the night?   You could've been killed!"

"I know, I was just—" she struggled to come up with an excuse.

Jake finished her sentence, "You were seeing Petrović again."

Shame seemed to fill her expression as she moved across the now empty floor to the bed, chewing her lower lip, "Bet you think I'm really fucking stupid, huh?"

There was a deep sadness in her tone, an indignant remorse as if she were being held trial, as if her friend was also her judge, jury and executioner.

"Of course not." Jake sighed, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, "Not as stupid as I am, anyway." at her look of confusion, he elaborated, "I kissed Raleigh."

Willa's face seemed to light up with a smile, one that quickly faded when she noticed the lack of joy on her friend's face, "Didn't you want to?"

"'Course I did." Jake hiccuped a bitter laugh, "But I can't."

Willa studied him, her blue eyes flickering over his face as she spoke, "Jake, whatever it is that's holding you back, you should tell someone.  Tell me, if that's what you need."

Jake wanted to — he wanted to let go of the burden on his shoulders but it weighed so heavily on him that it kept him silent.  Unconsciously, his knee bounced, his hand clenching and unclenching on his knee.

"Do you like him?" Willa then asked.

Jake's voice caught in his throat, choking on his reply before asking, "Does it matter?"

Willa looked at him incredulously, "Of course it does.  I don't know where you get this idea that you aren't allowed to be happy.  That you aren't allowed to be in love."

"Rich commentary coming from someone who can't decide who she loves." Jake regretted the words as soon as they passed through his lips.

Willa's expression changed, her eyes sinking and mouth opening slightly with a wounded inhale, "Wow, Jake.  That's a low blow."

"I don't—" he stammered, "I didn't mean it like that.  I'm sorry.   It's just... Why do you keep going back to him?"

Willa's eyes shone with glittering tears, "He makes me feel special.  Loved."

"And Manny doesn't?" he asked.

Willa bit her lower lip, which wobbled a little, "I'm not being fair to her, I know."

"There's nothing wrong with being polyamorous." Jake began, "But I worry that Petrović... you know he's taking advantage of you, right?"

Willa gave a small sniffle, "Of course I do, Jake.  I'm not an idiot, or some love-struck child." she buried her face in her hands, "I just wish everything was easier, you know?  I wish he didn't have this power over me.  It scares me." her face crumpled a little, "I wish I could be a little more like you."

"Romantically emaciated?" Jake asked.

Willa shook her head, "Strong."

"I'm not strong." Jake admitted, "Not even in the slightest.  I wish I was, maybe I'd allow myself to be happy for once."