chapter 28: tsukishimas pov

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I open the retaurant doors and start to search for him. It's almost dark now, it looks like it might rain. I spot Yachi frantically talking to Tadashi. She sees me and comes up to me. Tadashi is faced the other way. "Tsukishima, please just talk to him." I look down at her, "That's what i've been trying to do." She looked at me sadly. I have no idea why but her eyes were filled with pity. That caught me off guard. Then she walked back into the restaurant. "Tadashi." I softly spoke. I guess it wasn't as soft as i thought because he snapped his head around. "What do you want." He tried so hard to look intimidating but he looked more nervous than anything. "I'm sorry for what I said. But that's not what's bothering you. What's going on? Is everything alright?" He didn't respond. I could tell he was holding back tears. I pulled him in for a hug. He was reluctant but he didn't push away. "Let's go back in so they don't worry. We will talk at home okay?" He nodded.
Once we got home we went outside on the patio. The same one I was crying on last night. I liked the patio. It was easy access to the beach right in-front of us. We were silent for a moment. "Why have you been acting so cold to me? I mean you're always kind of cold, but there's something off." I looked at the ocean ahead of us. The waves coming and crashing along the shore. "I- i'm just annoyed." I gripped onto the railing once again. "But you're always annoyed. Tell me why." He was looking up at me but i kept my gaze onto the ocean. If i looked at him I might just pour out my feelings. I can't do that to Yachi. To him. I keep imagining how he would feel, how he would react. With disgust and judgement. How could I feel that way with my best friend. I'm disgusting. I continue to hear the waves crashing. But i'm wrong. He wouldn't judge me. Because he's a kind person. He's bright. I feel a lump in my throat but quickly swallow it back down. "You never told me." I slightly glance at him. Trying not to make it obvious i'm looking at him. "Told you what?" I wasn't used to Tadashi being so straight forward. It kinda made me nervous. "I'm mad at you. That you never told me you and Yachi were a thing." I felt my jaw clench. He stared at me for what seemed like a full minute. "What." he exclaimed. "I'm not-" I continued, "Its just that we're best friends. It makes me feel like you can't trust me. Like you kept it a secret." I said angrily. I'm not lying but I couldn't spit out the full truth. I look onto the night sky. The stars gleaming and the moon shining over the pitch black ocean. I can't be selfish. This is all I will say. If i say anything else it'll just be awkward and could ruin our friendship. Even if im sad, I feel overjoyed that Tadashi has found his true happiness. Yet i'm still mad that he didn't tell me and now he's acting like he has no idea what im talking about. However, this process has made me realize that i've loved him all along. My heart beats for him. I'll admire him from afar. From a distance. Please keep shining bright, Tadashi.

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