Zayn Malik, I. [zustin mieber]

Chapter 13

[I skipped some time and it's Christmas now.]

The tree is tall, but short enough for Zayn to put the star on top. Together we bake cookies and try to forget about last month when Zayn slipped in the shower and almost died. He had been so scared that he started to cry. Zayn doesn't want to die. The thought scares him too much.

They still haven't found me a fake girlfriend, so for now I'm safe. But for when we do, Zayn and I came up with a list of rules, and no kissing on the lips is at the top of it.

We can make everything work, and we will.

Alyssa and Niall will join us for Christmas dinner, and somewhere in the past few months they found something interesting in each other, and now they're dating. It's a interesting thought, because Alyssa and Niall live together, yet her parents are okay with it.

"No sexual activities for me, not for a long time," Niall told me one day. "That's how they know they can trust me." I felt bad when he said that because he said it like it was nothing when really he had been sexually abused. We dropped the topic quickly.

Right now Zayn is looking at himself in the mirror in our room. He's picking invisible fluffs off his sweater. I look at him from our bed, which I have been sleeping in alone for the past few days. Each night Zayn and I go to bed together but I wake up alone, and each morning I think he's done it. I think that Zayn's killed himself but then I remember how scared he was when he fell and I know he'll be in the guest room.

"You look nice," I comment. Zayn sighs and turns to me.

"I look tired," Zayn states. "Tired and dying. My head still hurts."

"Do you want to lie down?" I ask.

"No. If I feel dizzy I will. But for now I'm okay," he says. Zayn crawls up the bed and rests his head in my lap. "You look like a dork, by the way." I look down at my Christmas sweater. It has a big red Santa on it whose holding a green and yellow present.

"At least I'm being festive. You're sweater is black."

"I could be celebrating Halloween. You never know." I bend down and kiss Zayn's forehead.

"Merry Christmas, it's not Halloween you silly man," I say. Zayn puts his hand on the back of my neck and brings me closer to him. My back starts to hurt from the angel but I don't care.

"It could be Halloween in a alternate universe." Zayn smiles and sits up. Of course he wasn't going in for a kiss, but to make a joke. I should have seen that one coming.

"Why are you so obsessed with Halloween all of a sudden?" I ask.

"Christmas... was never my thing. I guess." And that's where the conversation dies as the doorbell rings. Zayn tells me to get the door while he sets the table, something we didn't do. I answer the door and right away Niall hugs me.

"It's been so long. I've missed you both. Where's Zayn?"

"Kitchen." Niall doesn't wait for further instructions and runs down the hall. I turn to Alyssa and start to laugh. "We saw each other a few days ago," I say.

"Yeah but I think Niall's brain acts like a dogs so time goes faster for him," Alyssa jokes. I laugh with her as we make our way into the house. Zayn and Niall are hugging in the kitchen and they're both talking at the same time. I put my arm around Alyssa and pull her in for a hug. 

"He looks so much happier," I whisper. It doesn't matter how I'm talking about - Niall or Zayn - because they're both improving. I know that Zayn is in contact with Liam, I've seen his contacts, and it makes me proud. I wasn't sneaking on his phone - god no - I was blocking someone from his school for him. 

"We should join them before you squeeze the air out of me," Alyssa says. "I only have so much in my lungs because you take it away." I stop hugging her and roll my eyes. 

"You're so cheesy," I say. 

"No no, Niall is cheesy." Alyssa returns to Niall's side and he kisses her head. 

"It's hard not to be when I'm dating such a beautiful girl. You're just amazing, baby," Niall says. He kisses her head again. It's the most kissing Niall will allow because of what happened. Alyssa is patient with him and I respect that. They're a good couple. 

___

We sit down for dinner and laugh while we eat. We tell stories and escape the horrible outside world within ourselves. The night is full of life and laughter. I kiss Zayn a few times and after a while he starts to get tired. Zayn leans on me, resting his head on my shoulder. In this moment everything is okay. Everyone is happy, forgetting what makes them sad for a few hours. 

I wish for more nights like this. Because we are all happy, and our mistakes have been forgotten. But I know it won't last. 

Zayn ends up falling asleep, and Niall helps me bring him to bed while Alyssa picks out a movie for us to watch. I look at Zayn and smile. In this moment I realize I really love him. I love him so much. I tell Niall this. 

"Make sure he knows that then," He says back. And I will. I promise myself that I will show Zayn how much he really means to me. 

[Awe look at that, a sweet chapter that's cute and nice. Too bad I'm the author tho, because nice is only followed by sad.]