Zayn Malik, I. [zustin mieber]

Chapter 10

[I don't know where my bold/italics went but what the hell happened in ten chapters I thought it had three?!?!? This is skipping some time to when Justin is in Canada btw because I don't feel like writing a plane ride and things about cities I don't know much about.]

In Edmonton Zayn breaks again. He wakes me up at three in the morning to tell me that he scratched one of his cuts open. I hold him while he rambles about why he did it. I listen, I really do, just the words get lost in my head. When Zayn falls back asleep I get out of bed and pace around my hotel room. Too much. This is getting to be too much. We've only been to two cities here - Toronto and Vancouver - and I can feel Zayn drifting into his bad place.

I'm losing Zayn to his mind, and I can't let that happen again.

___

I don't see Zayn the next morning. I'm whisked off to do a small mall performance and signing before he was up. I know better than to wake him when he's been crying so I left him a note. I take a car to the West Edmonton Mall and go over the songs I'll be singing in my head. Most of my cleaner songs, I know there'll be a lot of younger kids there. I close my eyes and try to calm my nerves. Why am I so nervous? Maybe I'm just thinking about Zayn too much. That might be it.

When we get to the mall there's a few girls that scream upon seeing me. I wave to them before quickly running inside with my security guard. We reach the stage where I'll be preforming, there's already a crowd gathered. Now, I've seen a lot of weird people in my crowds but I don't think I've ever seen a full grown man in a onesie standing front row, there's a first time for everything I guess. I go up on the stage and everyone starts to scream.

"Hello Edmonton!" I yell before being handed a mic. "How are you all doing today?" The man in the front turns to a man next to him and says something excitedly. I can't keep my eyes off him. "I'll be preforming a few songs for you today then I'll be signing things." The crows cheers again. I start my performance with As Long As you Love Me, and end it with an acoustic Beauty and a Beat half an hour later. I take a five minute break while the stage team sets up tables.

When I step out again people cheer, and I spot onesie boy among them. I also notice that he has a teddy bear with him. The first thing I think of is the Daddy Kink. I had to look it up once to understand why fans kept calling me Daddy, and I learnt that sometimes the 'little ones' carry stuffed animals and act... Well, they act like children, so maybe that's what he's doing.

When it's time for onesie boy and his partner to meet me I notice the man that's with him is the same man he was talking to earlier when I was preforming. They approach me together, the onesie boy holding the mans hand, this makes me think that they really are into the Daddy Kink. When they're in front of me I smile.

"Hello," I say.

"Hi, Justin," The boy says. His smile is lopsided. "I have for you." He puts the teddy bear on the table. "I'm Lou-ee." He giggles. "That os Liam, he's my grumpy brother." I smile at the way he says 'is' as 'os'. I can tell that he's not talking like this because of some sex thing, which is kind of a relief. I look at Liam. I never would have thought they'd be brothers. Liam holds his hand out, and I shake it.

"Louis is a big fan," he says. I look back to Louis who is nodding his head in confirmation.

"Big, big," He says.

"Well thank you, Louis. Do you want a picture?" I ask. Louis gasps.

"Please, please, please!" He begs. I still don't fully understand what's going on with him but anything to make my fans happy I'll do. Even if they are grown men in onesies.

___

Zayn doesn't wait backstage like I asked him to, and after the concert I find him outside holding a slip of paper. I wrap my arms around his waist and ask him what it is.

"It's for a... Support Group in Edmonton," He says. "Some guy was out here smoking during the show and saw my... He saw my cuts and said I should come." I take the card from Zayn and read it.

"Do you want to check it out? We'll only be here for one more day and if you want to go we can," I say. Because I'm lost. I don't know how to help Zayn anymore, maybe something like this will help him.

"I... I kind of do. Justin will you come with me? I don't want to go alo-."

"Always. I will always come with you. It says the group starts at four, so we'll be able to have a lazy day tomorrow until four. How does that sound?" I say. It takes a few minutes for Zayn to speak, and when he does he's crying.

"I just want to get better, Justin. I hate making you w-worry," He mumbles.

"Zayn, listen to me. Of course I'm going to worry. I love you so much that it's part of my nature to worry about you. Now let's go back to the hotel and get some rest. We can spend tomorrow together, just us." I kiss Zayn on the lips quickly. "Tomorrow, we will worry when it's time. but until then I'll try to make you forget about the pain." Zayn looks at me, we've both moved a little, and he's facing me now.

"Promise?" He asks.

"I promise."

[Whoever thought that I Won't Mind would be a good idea obviously needs to not play with my emotions like that. I wrote this with it stuck in my head. Gah! Also, the rest of 1D will be in the next chapterrrrrrr.]