Odds of Love: Past Wounds

Episode 26

Richard fell back on the sofa and began to openly cry. He was still crying as though his heart was breaking several minutes later when Nigel came in the door carrying two brown paper bags full of food. " Baby , I almost wish I had taken the Benz like you wanted , " he said with a casual laugh , " but I would have hated myself if I had had another accident in your car. Bad enough I had one in Marco's. He called by the way , wants us to have dinner with him ...... " 

As he got closer to the sofa where Richard was slumped over with his hands covering his face , Nigel felt a sudden surge of alarm running through his entire being. Was he ok ? , he thought as he dropped both bags on the coffee table so hard that he was afraid it might shatter into a million glass shards. He then fell to his knees before his fiancé and reached for his hands. Richard looked at him with tears glimmering within his grey eyes and and the remains of others etched upon his classically handsome face. " Richard , are you all right ? Are you in pain ? What happened ? " 

Richard blinked his eyes a few times as he attempted to control himself . " I told my father. He took it well. I was afraid he wouldn't but he took it well. He likes you. He has good sense. " He smiled weakly and Nigel kissed his forehead gently. " I texted Niles. He's sixteen and he's always been the leader of him and Lewis even though they're half brothers. I told him I'm.... I'm bisexual. Because I am. I always have been. All my life. Damn it. Spencer is right ! Why is he always right ? All my life I dated the perfect beautiful women. Gorgeous women. And I did desire them. But deep down even with them I wanted more. " He looked into his fiancé's very understanding and loving eyes. " You're not my first man. Before I married my first wife Beverly I kissed another man. He was closeted gay and I was .... in deep denial even then. I still married her and I regretted it so much. When she cheated I was so glad. When my second wife Tania cheated I was so glad. Just like Sarah. I'm so sorry I hurt them by marrying them. The only good things that came from my marriages are my children. My boys. My daughter.  My children are my true legacy. Not my money. "

Nigel wanted to cry himself because of how much Richard was hurting. " It's always hard coming out. For me..... it was easy enough. I mean I'm not really the most masculine man. The platinum blond hair. The purple eyes. " He laughed self consciously. " Eye. Growing up at the children's home I was called girl so much by the boys I almost thought I was bloody one. But no. I was just a really really really gay boy that love dick. And I love you. I'm sorry you're hurting. What did Niles say ? "

Richard bit his lip and he looked pained before he said , " He called me a pervert. Said I was  not a real man. Said Lewis felt the same way. Said he didn't want to hear from me again. "

Nigel sighed and held him tightly. " I'm sorry. So sorry. He was wrong for that. So wrong. What are you going to do now ? "

He braced himself for the blow he knew was coming to him. What would Richard do ? What would any man in his position do ? If Richard did want to end it and run right back to his bloody closet ....... that would be ok with him. No. It would not be but he would make it ok. He closed his eyes and waited for the loss. 

Richard whispered softly , " I am going to keep loving my children and my family. I am going to keep working as a lawyer. I am going to keep living my life. " His fingers touched Nigel's face and Nigel smiled pensively. His own hand lifted and touched Richard's. " I am going to be happy. With you. I am going to keep loving you. Forever and ever until the day I die hopefully making love to you. I love you. And my father is going to be my best man. "

Nigel released the breath that he hadn't even realized he was holding in. Damn. Richard chose him. Richard chose him. 

Even at the orphanage nobody had ever chosen the skinny mouthy kid with the weird eyes. But Richard chose him. 

" I love you , Richard.  "