Odds of Love: Past Wounds

Episode 4

" I love you," Richard Norland whispered in his sleep from the hospital bed in the recovery room.

Nigel smiled slightly as he sat beside the bed , holding Richard's head tightly. He was the only one still at the hospital. Spencer had not wanted to leave but he was getting tired and DuBuis literally forced him to go home with him. They also needed to check on why exactly Spencer and Richard's nephew was currently at their home with more suitcases than a celebrity supermodel. Before they had left Spencer had shocked the hell out of him by actually hugging him hard. " That better be me you are talking about," he whispered as he squeezed his hand. " Because I love you and I am not going anywhere. "

He didn't care about his past. He didn't care about the blackmail. He didn't care about Lonnie or Jeremy. Not right now. All he cared about was this man that he very nearly lost. When Richard went back home his life was going to change, Nigel vowed. They might be opening a steak and potatoes restaurant but that didn't mean Richard was not going to start eating a more Cafe J type menu. He was going to eat better and more regularly. He was going to drink less coffee. He was going to exercise more. He was going to stay alive damn it.

Mindful of the wires and tubes and IV, he toed off his shoes and slipped into the bed with Richard, holding him tightly, never wanting to let go again. It was not the best comfortable fit ever but Nigel stayed there and held him as he told the sleeping man a story.

The story of young Nigel Hawthorne -Cyrus at eighteen who was all alone in the world. No family. No friends. No college education. No prospects except for his pretty face and nice body. He met an older handsome man named Jeremy Santos who owned a very exclusive and elegant upscale escort agency that catered to the most elite of men. Men that preferred other men. Nigel was very good at what he did to earn money. He was very popular. But he wasn't happy. For two and a half years he was a paid whore , a sex worker, and he was miserable. Until he escaped and went to America where he found a temp agency in Virginia that liked his fake resume and sent him to the office of Richard Norland. 

" I never loved those men. Not like I love you. I love you. I need you. I want you. Please forgive me. "

He opened his eyes and moved his head to look directly at Richard whose eyes were open as well. He swallowed harshly and tried to get out of the bed but Richard, even in his weakened state,  held tight to him.

Richard looked at him without speaking for so long that he began to get scared. What was he thinking? When had he actually awakened ? How much had he heard? Was it ok ? Or was this the end?

Why would a rich prominent lawyer want someone like him in his life? , Nigel worried.

" Please don't leave me, " Nigel murmured.

Richard finally spoke. The words were the last ones he ever expected to hear from the man.

Richard Norland said faintly,"  I'm not just a sugar daddy to you? I'm not just a gullible old man to you? Lonnie..... told me. "

Nigel wanted to laugh but didn't. Dear God he really wanted to beat the hell out of Lonnie Hawkins. He had told Richard...... Why had he told him before the deadline to pay even hit ? Then an awful thought hit him suddenly. Did knowing the truth actually lead to the heart attack? Was it really Lonnie's fault as well as his own fault? , Nigel thought. Then he saw the plain naked vulnerability evident on Richard's face and realized that the man needed reassurance right now.

He sat up in the corner of the single bed and said firmly," You are none of that to me. You are the man I love. I don't care about your money. I'd have you as a poor gas station attendant. Lonnie.... Don't believe him. Please. He's been blackmailing me. "

Richard said," Get off me. "

The words struck Nigel directly in his heart. Like he had been stabbed there. He quickly returned to his seat and avoided looking at the man, tears filling his eyes.

Richard reached out for Nigel's hand. " This bed is not made for two. It was very uncomfortable. I don't care about your past. I don't care about Lonnie but he won't bother you again. Trust me on that. Your past is your concern. " He stopped speaking and closed his eyes briefly. Then he reopened them. " Your present is my concern. If you really love me and it's not just my money....... I love you. I think I always loved you. From the first time you set foot in my office. I love you. I don't want you to leave my home once you get the cast off. I want you to stay. Stay with me. " He looked at Nigel with such heartfelt tenderness in his eyes that it actually humbled Nigel. " I want something with you that I have never had before. In any relationship. I want forever. Nigel Hawthorne -Cyrus, will you please marry me? "