Echoes of the Psyche

Healing Karen

During one of the group therapy sessions,
I saw this small medium complexion
African American woman,
who appeared to hardly be alive,
she had this blank look,
expressionless.

I had asked an intern, Mary,
working under me,
to interview Karen,
for the routine social work intake.

After a short while, Mary returned
with Karen.
"Can you help Karen?"
Mary asked with a look of
desperation(?).

"I can stay," Mary added.

"No, I don't want you to see,"
answered Karen with shakiness
in her voice.

"I can help,"
I said, instinctually knowing
questions and concerns
Karen had.

Scanning the intake form,
I answered...
"You were raped,
I am so sorry this was done
to you." ...
my eyes remained,
though she looked down.

I paused adding softly,
"I can help.
We can go back
to when it happened."

"Will you come with me?"
she asked.

"My voice will go with you.
and I will be with you."

"First,
we need to create
the seemingly impossible -
relaxation
and
safety."

Slowly time passed as
empathy expanded between
us...
Until...
Karen's breathing and my own
became synchronized
with me guiding her toward
slower, deeper breathing.

I gained confirmation
that at this moment,
she knew,
she was safe.

"I am not leaving."

"Picture a movie theater,
in your mind.
You are still with me.
In your safe place.

Safe.

She nodded her understanding.

As you picture that screen,
far away,
you can remain safe
with me.

We discussed desensitization -
how her past trauma
would lose its power
to hurt her.

If it becomes too much,
we can return to your safe
and comfortable place.

She still had a look of peace.

If you are ready...

Begin to review and describe
what happened as it is
played out on that screen.

Can you see yourself?

Fear and pain gripped her
and suddenly, she grabbed my hand
squeezing it so hard.
My voice remained calm,
and softly soothing...
my words -
It's okay,
you are okay
Now.
I am not leaving you.
You are safe – now.
It's not happening – now.
It's over.
I'm not leaving you.

This went on for some time...
the unspeakable narrative -
a story witnessed by
victim
and therapist.

But it had an ending.
the trauma narrative
ended.

We re-established relaxation,
peace – serenity.
Her breathing slowed, again.

Her eyes opened.
The smile on her face
was amazing -
unexpected.

She was a different person -
alive.

"Thank you," she said.

"No, thank you,"
I answered.

I didn't need to explain,
that this was not about me,
nor did I explain,
that more healing
would be needed.

She was alive.

Some form of healing
had occurred
and it was celebrated
by both of us.

Addendum: The response by me "thank you," was a shared celebration of whatever amount of healing had occured and changed her.

The author of the book on "Emotional Intelligence, "Daniel Goleman, followed that book with a book entitled "Social Intelligence." In that second book Goleman describes research that relates the healing benefits of social attunement between the experience of client or patient and therapist. I, also, have often observed shame on the part of victims and an expectation of abandonment by their therapist if they only knew.

I wonder if this is avoided by some trauma therapy techniques that avoid any sharing of the actual narrative of the trauma with the therapist. For example, EMDR does not involve the client/patient vocalizing internal images or memories.