Echoes of the Psyche

Kid Fears

The Voice of the hypnotist saying,
"And my voice will go with you."

When I was a hypnotherapist
I'd say those words,
guiding someone into facing something
frightening, because
that's what I wanted
back when I was scared...
and fear was something I knew,
like every other kid,
shaped by our surroundings
or the stories we heard...

Come with me,
let's go back to where I grew up...
on East Mountain Drive, Southington
a dead end road, surrounded
by woods and hills -
you are nearly living in the woods,
far from town.
You've just watched "Killer Grizzly,"
and you wonder about what appear
to be bear tracks in the woods...
or you think about "Day of the Animals"
and you think about snakes 
on a regalar hike through the woods
and the neighborhood dogs...
and every time you close your eyes,
you see snakes everywhere
or again, you're being chased by
the neighbor's dog.

Then before you know it,
your pre-teen mind thinks about killers
in the news... 
the police show up on your street,
this is new - 
police cars out here.
looking for a murder suspect,
who was heading this way.

"Were you in the words?"

"Of course."

The same question
asked by your mother.

Does this change you?
No, not at all.

What about the movie,
"Helter Skelter"
about the Manson family,
doing creepy crawly
through homes.
and the house -
is so big,
two stories plus a basement -
how lucky we were,
yeah right?
Without love or compassion
or safety.

What do you do?
Check under the bed?
No, that's silly, or is it?
So you do it...
and what if...
what if,
someone really is in the house...
what if...
you've become obsessed with that notion.
and you wake your sister
and before you know it,
you've come to the conclusion
that you'll have to go downstairs.
and check the house,
                 look around... 

You approach the bottom of the stairs,
frozen, feeling that chill creeping up your back...
someone could be around the corner
in the dark room to the right...
somehow, you've made it inot the hall
avoided the room on the right,
turning on all the lights - first - going
from room to room. 

You wake up...
your walking in the woods
beyind your house.
Every neighborhood has a haunted house.
Right?

I was the only one
who truly wanted to see
something...
anything. 
something more than the eagle
whose sudden flight
startled us as we entered the woods...

The choice of lighting
in the "haunted house" 
was enough to suspend disbelief
for me. 

I wanted something to fear
besides the rattlesnake that I 
almost stepped on...
the dog that actually bit me. 

Something more satisfying
than what H. P. Lovecraft presented...
the lurking fear...

If you just looked upon it,
your terror would change you.

Looked at what?

There are so many real stories
I've heard since then.