Exams approached, yet Hanni's mind remained unprepared for studying. Her thoughts were too consuming; even her journal, usually her refuge, now chronicled only Minji and the pain inflicted.
Life was supposed to move forward, yet everything felt stagnant.
Understanding why Minji, of all people, would hurt her was beyond her grasp.
Despite having Danielle as a supportive friend, Danielle's busyness left Hanni feeling isolated.
Attempts to forge new connections only failed miserably; it seemed she was unwanted regardless of Minji's presence.
She yearned for Minji's comforting embrace, knowing it was wrong yet feeling psychologically tethered to this toxic relationship.
Minji's influence ran deep, injecting venom that clouded Hanni's thoughts. Therapy seemed like a good idea but she wasn't crazy. Not yet.
"Curse you, Kim Minji!" Hanni groaned into her pillow, tears unnoticed amidst her frustration. All she desired was a normal teenage life, but life's relentless trials made that impossible.
How she wished... How she wished Minji were here to whisper sweet words, caress her hair, hold her close. More tears fell as she confronted her longing. Why couldn't Minji leave her alone?
Though absent, Minji's face, voice, and warmth lingered in Hanni's heart.
Had it come to this?
Unable to endure even a week without Minji, Hanni realized no one else could evoke the feelings Minji did. Ironically, just a week earlier, she'd labeled Minji as darkness, extinguishing her light; now, she dwelled on Minji's caring nature.
According to psychology, breaking free from such a deceptive bond was hard as fuck.
Minji had made her feel worthless, shattered her self-esteem, yet here she lay, consumed by thoughts of the one who shattered her world.
"I need Minji," she gasped between sobs. She needed her, and no one else. Feeling unloved and pathetic, she succumbed to despair.
"You need me, Hanni," a voice echoed, hitting Hanni's tender spot she knew, deep down, she needed Minji more than anything else. And so, she resorted to the only solace she could find.
_
Hanni wore a rubber band on her wrist, the very place where her veins lay. She hesitated before snapping it against her skin, drawing a shaky breath at the painful sensation.
In a strange way, it brought relief a coping mechanism tinged with peril. She repeated the action, each snap landing on the same spot, each jolt of pain offering a fleeting satisfaction.
At some point, Hanni's wrist turned bloody red, small bruises oozing drops of blood. Yet she remained indifferent to the harm, lost in the fog of momentary contentment.
Exiting the bathroom, she returned to her room, where nothing else provided such solace—not even Minji.
_
The next day at school, Hanni sat alone as usual, waiting for classes to fill. Unlike before, when she and Minji shared almost every class, now Danielle shared only three with her—classes Hanni cherished.
When Minji entered, Hanni's breath caught in her throat.
She didn't want Minji to notice her, to speak to her. She had enough of Minji in her thoughts; she needed no more.
To her surprise, Minji glanced at her with a blank expression lifeless, loveless, as if their long friendship never existed.
Normally, Minji would smile or greet her, only to be ignored by Hanni, but today she seemed drained.
Hanni gasped, observing Minji's disheveled state.
dark bags under her eyes, puffy eyes and thin wrists. What had happened?
"Stop staring at me god dammit! What are you doing, judging me?" Minji snapped, her voice lowering sharply.
Hanni wanted to reassure her, to say she would never judge her, but she held her tongue. She watched as Minji settled by the window, resting her head against the frame, lost in contemplation.
What had gotten into her.
The classroom filled, the teacher taught, but Hanni's gaze remained fixed on Minji's frail figure, appearing paler than the rest.
What was going on? Minji had never looked this way before.
Sighing deeply, Hanni barely noticed as the class finally ended.
The teacher distributed test results and dismissed them. Some students hurriedly left, embarrassed by their grades, while others lingered, discussing scores since they had time before the next class.
Hanni gasped at the sight before her.
"A D-?" Hanni voiced her disbelief aloud. How had this happened? Her parents would be furious.
"Looks like the teacher's pet is finally losing her charm... What, she doesn't want you flaunting around with her anymore?" Leena, the relentless bully, spoke loudly, causing a stir.
Hanni usually earned As and A+s, while Minji consistently received top grades, even from the strictest teachers. This time, Hanni had fallen below even the least competent student in the class—Leena, who flaunted her C+ to her group.
The class was stunned. Hanni glanced at Minji and saw Hanuel, the school's belle, approach her. Jealousy flared within Hanni. What did he want with Minji?
"What did you get, Minji?" Hanni heard the girl nearby ask.
"The usual," Minji replied casually, tucking her test sheet into her bag.
Soon, half the class, including Leena's circle, surrounded Minji, asking for tutoring sessions. It seemed everyone wanted a piece of her now that she distanced herself from Hanni.
As Hanni observed this, she realized the whole school seemed to have developed an interest in Minji, ostracizing anyone associated with Hanni. Even Danielle, who hinted at being bi at a recent party, lost friends because of her closeness with Hanni and her sexuality. Though some still admired Danielle for her beauty, intelligence, and sweetness, so she didn't loose much friends only some homophobic ones.
Previously, Minji rarely spoke to anyone and rebuffed those who tried to get close, which prevented her from making friends when she was with Hanni. Now, however, she was suddenly popular.
Hanni hurried out of the classroom, seeking relief in the familiar snap of her rubber band, if only briefly. Amid the turmoil, one thought remained unwavering.
Her parents would never accept this failure.
_
Hello people!!
How are y'all today?
I hope you enjoyed this chapter it lit only took me a few minutes to write this down 😭
Anyways stay hydrated and have a nice day or night ❤
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GASLIGHTER // BBANGSAZ
Fanfic//GASLIGHTER// a person who manipulates people/ individual psychologically such that they question their own sanity. _
