Desiderium | gallyxreader

𝕭𝖊𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗

𝕊𝕠𝕟𝕘𝕤 𝔽𝕠𝕣 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕤 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣:
𝔹𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣
𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝔽𝕖𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕎𝕚𝕝𝕝 ℙ𝕒𝕤𝕤
𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕤 ℍ𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕖 𝕀𝕤 ℕ𝕠𝕥 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕒𝕞𝕖
𝔸𝕟𝕪𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔽𝕠𝕣 𝕐𝕠𝕦

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

Sparks flew of the door, small shocks of metal, lighting up the room. Until the door opened, and we all seen the first light that we had since we were put on this damn train.

As if sent by the gods, Thomas walked in followed by Newt, then Harriet. I guess we weren't taken by WCKD? Or maybe we were? Is this another sick experiment they were doing on me? Is this real?

I knew it wasn't when I locked eyes with him. "Y/n." "Hey Major Tom, miss me?" He said nothing in reply, walked over to me, hugged me, and then finally took in Aris and Sonya. "Hey, you guys okay?" He was soft spoken as he took Aris by the shoulder.

It was obvious he was staring out Aris' eye but how could you blame him, the kid was in pretty bad shape and besides a few of us, everyone else looked fine. "Jesus.." It was Newt, he did a worse job than Thomas at trying to hide his reaction.

Thomas walked away, shortly followed by Newt after he checked on the three of us. I watched as the two of them scanned the room- looking for something.

I felt dread sink into my stomach as I realised what they were looking for- who they were looking for. Minho. But he wasn't here, obviously. Harriet had came over now.

"There you are. Oh, god!" She hugged both Aris and Sonya, one under each arm. "Picking favourites are we now, Harriet?" She smiled at me, releasing Aris and Sonya from her grip. "Hey, Y/n." We bumped fists.

I don't know Harriet as well as I knew Thomas and the others- Harriet doesn't know me as well as she knows Aris or Sonya. Yet, we had both talked, that night at the right arm 6 months ago. We had became sort of close- friends in a way. So it was nice to see her, she had a sort of comforting aura, like somebody you could trust- someone safe.

I like finding that in people, I found that in Gally, but he's gone now. Gally is nothing more than a memory now, and I have to move on. But just because I have to, doesn't mean I can.

I must have faded off for a minute or so, because the three of them were looking at me now. "Y/n?" "You good?" I didn't have to look up, I knew it was Aris speaking, I could tell from the boyish southern accent. "Oh, yeah, for sure."

The three of them don't know about Gally, they don't know my pain. My grief. And its going to stay that way, unless I decide otherwise. He's mine now, he's gone and out of my reach, but he lives with me in my heart- in my mind- in my lungs.

He will stay alive through every memory I have of him and every thought I think about him. I have to protect him, keep him safe, but I can't. I want to hold him, I want him to hold me, but that's not possible. I won't forget him, not ever, not till' the day I die.

I hope he's okay now, and not worried about anything. I hope he's better, i hope he can forget. Even though I don't like to think he might have forgot about me, I know he would be happier if he had. He can be better up there in heaven, I can't down here.

I don't want Gally to know how much he hurt me that day, because it wasn't his fault. If he were still here, I would probably try and brainwash him or something stupid like that so he wouldn't blame himself for hurting me.

I wish I could blame him. Stay mad at him, forget how much I loved him. Maybe then I would hurt less- but I don't really want that.

I don't think I ever want this sadness to leave me. It's all I have left of him now. This horrible, bitter overtaking hollowed out feeling in my heart is all I have left of him.

He once lived in my heart, alive and well. He was that safe feeling you get when you're home. Now, what was once a home, is now nothing more than a house.

I'll love you forever Gally- but that's the problem, isn't it?
·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·