TR | MW [✔]

11.

"I didn't think it was possible..."

Wonwoo glanced up at Captain. "What?"

"You look worse than me."

"Haven't been sleeping well."

Captain sat down opposite. "Even without me screaming the place down?"

"Yeah, well... looks like I'm going through a bout of insomnia."

Wonwoo didn't add that it was horny-induced insomnia. At any point during the night, Mingyu could toy with the Vaseline tub, and it didn't matter if Wonwoo was exhausted, or he was deep in the mists of sleep; he stirred, and woke up hard.

"How's your sleep?"

Captain shrugged. "I do sleep, but during the day, I don't quite feel myself."

"How do you feel?"

"Hazy, like I'm all soft around the edges."

Wonwoo frowned. "That doesn't sound good."

"It's one or the other—I don't take them, and my mind destroys itself, or I do take them, and I'm detached from myself anyway."

"There's a third option."

"Which is?"

"Go see the psychiatrist again."

"I can't."

"It was months ago; explain how you didn't mean to get angry, but his questions felt invasive."

"I could do that, I could say sorry, and swear that I'll not do it again, but that would be a lie. I don't know how I'm gonna react, I can't promise I won't shout, or scream, or break down in tears."

"Did you feel like hurting him?"

Captain flung himself back and gawped. "No, of course not."

"Sorry, I wondered, that's all."

"I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me feel good making him back off, making him go all wide-eyed and scared. It felt good in that moment to punish him for prying, but now..."

"Make another appointment. You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to. You could go there and just apologize, and then you'll stop feeling this guilt."

Captain scrunched up his face as if he was in pain, but nodded. "Okay."

"Okay?"

He got to his feet. "I'll see if I can sort out an appointment now."

As soon as Captain walked away, Beomgyu slid into his seat.

"Where's he going?"

"To make an appointment with the psychiatrist."

"Why? He's stopped screaming now."

"Only because of the medication."

Beomgyu shrugged, and Wonwoo tapped his temple. "It hasn't fixed anything going on in his head, only put a block on it, or a veil or whatever."

"End result's the same though. He's sleeping now when he wasn't before."

"But he's not himself."

"But what is the 'self' exactly?"

Wonwoo groaned and pinched his brow. "Don't start this again. Why the hell did you take that philosophy class?"

"I took all the classes, even drama. Apparently, they do a big show at the end of the year. They haven't said what yet, but hopefully I'll get to be something good."