The Heart Wants What it Wants

7 - Sadness & Joy

Two Months LaterChelsea's P.O.V.

It's been 71 days. 71 days since we've heard from Sasha. 71 days more that Nova has distanced herself completely, barely even talking to anyone. I've been hanging out with Judgment Day and Jacob. For whatever reason, FInn and JD keep being shady even out of the storyline they have with Liv. Which is odd but whatever. It's like they don't trust me, which makes no sense. I'm not a shady person but whatever. I don't trust JD as far as I can throw him and let's face it. I can't throw him. I'm sitting on the couch. It's 11L30 am and I need to go to the cosmetic stores to pick up inventory for Friday. It's Tuesday and Jacob is also having a cookout at my house. And by cookout it means, he wants an obscene amount of barbeque and doesn't want to be the only one eating it so he's coming over here. My phone pings and it's a text from...SASHA?!

Sash: Hey Chels, guess what?! I am coming back home. Back to you all. I was released early. I am feeling better than I ever have! I miss you! How are things in Camp WWE?

Chels: Oh My God! I'm so glad you are doing better. Get your ass home! We've missed you like crazy! Work has been really good. I've been hanging out with more wrestlers lately as Nova has clearly been distracting herself and being dark. She thinks I don't notice that she's smoking again. But yeah. How far away is the place? I can come get you, If you'd like?

Sash: I'm about 15 minutes away. I'm not far from the house. I'm glad you've been hanging out with more people. Do any of those wrestlers consists of your fuckable 3? What do you mean about Nova distancing herself. She's smoking again?

Chels:Yeah, but that's going to stop today. I'm going to get her to talk to us. It needs to be happen. We are here for her so I'm not sure why she is distancing.

I put my phone down and sit up straight, slowly getting up and walking to the kitchen to get some water. I sit back on the couch and wait for Sasha to get home. Just as I take a sip of my water, Nova walks into the house, walks straight by me, and goes upstairs to her bedroom. She's been shutting herself off so much. I'm just happy she's still showering. She barely eats, doesn't seem to sleep either. Just a perpetually exhausted pigeon. A few, short minutes later I can smell cigarette smoke. Of course, she gets home and needs to smoke. It needs to stop. I meant what I said to Sasha, its stopping today.

Suddenly I hear keys in the door. Sasha opens the door and drags her bags in. I slowly get up and meet her to give her a giant hug. "I missed you. Let's get your laundry in the wash, maybe a shower and then we can talk?" I ask. I don't want to overwhelm her, I just want her comfortable. "Actually, we talk to Nova now. There's some shit the two of us need to talk about but first we need to make sure she is even ok," Sasha says. "Ok, I just don't want to overwhelm you," I say. "I'm ok. I really meant what I said. I've finally accepted i'm a lesbian. My therapist helped me understand my trauma. I was able to get the 'procedure' that needed to be done, done. I'm finally starting to accept that I deserve good things and that what my parents instilled in me was not at all true and that loving yourself and others isn't a sin. But, if at all possible do you think you could give me a makeover?" Sash asks. "Of course. I'd love too. I'm thinking about dying my hair a different color anyway, I haven't changed it in a while, I need a new haircut. But first, allow me to do the annoying bestie honors," I say, taking a moment to clear my throat. "NOVELLA GUTIERREZ VELASQUEZ! Get your ass down here. We need to talk, Now!" I yell towards the stairs.

I hear Nova's footsteps and then her door open. "WHY? I JUST GOT BACK FROM WORK! I DIDN'T HAVE MANY CLIENTS TODAY AND I'M TIRED!!!" She yells. "A WELL OVERDUE CHIT CHAT! There's something I want to talk about. I'm worried. And Sasha is home. She'd like to see her other bestie," I say, trying to be more calm. I know she's just defensive because of everything that happened Wrestlemania night one. But hopefully them talking it out will help Nova soon. Nova comes down the stairs and sits in the living room with us. 

Nova sits on the other end of the couch. I sit on the opposite end, and Sasha sits in the middle. Nova sits with her arms crossed. "What is it that you wanted to talk about, Chels?" She asks. "The fact that you've been smoking cigarettes for the past two months. That you've closed yourself off completely. And now you are acting cold to Sasha. You always said you'd support us no matter what, well, Sasha left to get better. You don't need to be so cold to her right now," I say. Nova rolls her eyes at me. "I'm not stupid Nov. I'm worried about you. We need to air everything out right now. I miss how the three of us were. I just want everyone happy and healthy. Nova, you are one of my best friends I don't like seeing you dark and stormy," I say.

"I'm as fine as I can be Chels, can I leave now?" Nova asks. "Not until you tells us how you actually feel," I say. "Ok, so you want to know how I actually feel. Ok, fine. I was doing great. I was doing wonderful. I thought maybe the person I've loved for so long might've loved me back," She says, pausing a second. She moves her gaze to Sasha. "Maybe the person who I loved, would love me back. But instead you looked at me like I was your whole universe. I cried because I was full of dead stars and broken debris, but you still called me beautiful...Bu-But then you walked away. You told me it was so you could get better...But what about us? What about me?! While you were trying to fix yourself, you took away the little bit of life I had left in me. I succumbed to the darkness. I was once again a slave to my own demons, and this time I didn't know when or if I could escape, Because I didn't know when my light, my heart, my soul would return... so while you left to let your stars shine again, you exploded my last stars that were still there," She says.

"Novi, I never meant to hurt you. I didn't know how much I meant to you, nor you to me. During my time in the rehab facility I realized just how much I loved you. I love you, Nova. But, I understand if you don't trust me. And I know it will take a while for me to earn your trust back. I respect that. I just hope your light comes back. We don't want to see you upset," Sasha says.

"Well, I think my reason for still being alive, and praying, and breathing came back. You are here. I feel my light coming back. Slowly, but still building up to where it was. Healing my void of darkness. You've always brought a calming presence that would silent the storms and make my mind calm. I felt happiness for the first time in a long time when I saw you the first time. That's how much you have always meant to me, Sash. I finally start to feel happiness for the first time in two months. Don't leave again, Sash. Because, I'm not sure if I could survive that void without you," Nova says, tears starting to stream down her face. Sasha and Nova hug.