The Heart Wants What it Wants

11 - Apologies

Chelsea's P.O.V.

I sit in my room crying. I couldn't control it anymore and it won't stop. I've been so overwhelmed with everything the last two months but i've been trying to be strong. The only time I'm really calm anymore is when I'm around Dom, Damian, and Rhea but I see to somehow fuck that up too. There is a knock at my door. "Hey....Chels? You...ok?" I hear Nova ask through the door. I try to hide the fact that i've been crying. "Yeah, i'm fine," I say. "Let me in...please?" Nova asks. "It's fine your preoccupied. You should go check on Sasha," I say. I know Sasha is probably shaken up. Plus, I'm struggling to stop crying. "She's regaining her composure, I think. She didn't answer her door," She says. "Her door is also locked," She adds. Sasha normally only locks it when she wants to be alone.. I try to stop crying, hoping my eyes aren't so puffy that it gives it away. "Fine," I say, getting up and opening the door. I go to the bathroom and splash my face.

"You know how I know when you've been crying?" Nova asks. I don't answer cause I know she's going to tell me anyway. "It's because you splash water on your face," She says, her voice a bit horse. "I think I lost my voice for a while..." She says. There was a lot of yelling today...it wouldn't surprise me. 'I'm not crying. I'm just warm. You know, I have to stay cool because of the pots," I say. "Do you want me to make you some hot tea for your voice?" I ask. "You always make the best tea, Chels," She says. "I will in a minute," I say. I look in the mirror and sure as shit my eyes are puffy. 'Fuck!' I hear Nova talking to someone but I'm just trying to make sure I don't look to terribly puffy when I walk out of the bathroom. I walk out and Viv is sitting next to Nova on the bed.

"Oh, hey Viv," I say. Nova was saying she wasn't very comfortable in her bathing suit. She struggles with two pieces so I'm happy she even tried. "Hey, not much.," Viv says. "Do you have a one piece you can change into?" Viv asks Nova. "Yeah, we can go to my room. It's been aired out and a little bit of a mess but I should have something in there," She says.

Nova's P.O.V.

"If you couldn't tell by the rooms, we are purple lovers, Viv," I say. I yell down the hall for Chelsea to meet us here to help me pick a one piece. I have a couple of them but I think I already know which one I am going to wear. I open my closet and move the curtain to cover the sex toys section of my closet. "Oh!" Viv says, giggling. "Jesus, Nov! We're going to need to get you a treasure chest with the amount you have," Chels says, walking into the room and sitting on the bed next to Vivian. "Yeah I know. Now, let's see," I say, looking through my closet. I take a couple of the one pieces out and throw them on the bed.

15 Minutes Later

"You're right, I just don't want to look like a dumbass," I say. I'm asking for advice on how to tell Sasha I love her. "Just be gentle. Tell her you love her. I don't know what to tell you. Just try to get out of your own way," Chelsea says. She has a good point. We both struggle with that. "Maybe I can get her flowers? I just don't know what kind. Maybe roses, though?" I ask. "The purple ones," Chelsea says. I nod. She's right. She loves purple roses. "Do you want a ride? Just let me throw some clothes on," Chelsea says. "Yeah, let me put on something to cover this," I say about my one piece. "Yeah, ok. Viv, you coming?" Chels asks. 'Sure. I'll go throw my dress on and let J know we'll be back," Viv says. "Ok," I say. Chelsea goes to her room to put shorts on and I throw a tank top and shorts on over my one piece. Once we are all ready we go to the nearest florist.

10 Minutes LaterSasha's P.O.V. Once i've calmed down some, I decide to leave my room and see how Novi is doing. 'Better see how she's doing. Definitely need to talk. I didn't mean to trigger her. Even if she doesn't want me I can still apologize.' I walk over to Nova's door and she's not there. I then go check Chelsea's door, knocking. It opens, she's not in there. I closed her door for her. She doesn't like leaving it open. I go downstairs to see if maybe they are down there and I hit something or should I say someone. "Can't you watch where you are goi- oh...Hi Sasha," Rhea says, shifting slightly. "Are you alright?" She asks. ' Oh, so now she gives a fuck?' "What do you want? Want to berate me even further?" I ask, struggling not to break down crying again. I know I am a coward...but i've also never been in a relationship, and my only experience of a relationship was my parents' abusive marriage and that was before I joined WWE. So I'm just scared to do or say the wrong thing. 

"I came to apologize... I shouldn't have been so rude towards you, and especially not have brought up your trauma. That was low of me. I just, saw how Nova was during the last 2 months you were away...she was lost. Like, someone just magically made her spark and warmth disappear," Rhea says. 'Ok, everyone says that but doesn't tell me what actually happened?' "What do you mean? Everyone tells me about the 2 months, but no one told me exactly what's been going on," I say. Rhea's face softens. I'm guessing she thought I knew. "It basically began the first day you left. She looked like she hadn't slept, even during Damian's win, she was lifeless. Over time she became more distant, more cold towards others. While before she would chit chat during tattoos. She became quiet... I can only remember another time she was that quiet...when she was tattooing you. That's how much you meant to her. She was quiet because she was comfortable with you, where as when she's quiet towards us, she's fighting her inner demons," She says. 'I fucked up. I need to tell Nova how I feel.'

"What do you mean she pushed everyone away? She didn't have many friends to begin with, basically only Chels and I. So it's true, she's pushed Chelsea away? I really fucked her up, didn't I? Poor Nova, I wish I could fix it, but I needed to fix myself first," I say, partially to Rhea and partially to myself. "You look really happy now, by the way. Your smile suits you. So glad we could clear our differences," Rhea says. "Yeah, I realized that locking myself away wasn't helping anyone. And I wanted to apologize to you and make amends with Nova," I say. All of a sudden I hear a car pull into the driveway.