Bambi and Thumper

With Butch

Thumper and Bambi were walking home arm and arm late Friday when they heard the squeal of bald tires.

They looked up just in time to see a beat-up jalopy headed directly for them veer and screech to a smoky halt at the curb.

The passenger side door fell opened and Butch fell out with it.

"Hop in losers," Butch said. "We're going shopping."

"But I don't have any money," Bambi said.

"Don't worry. We took up a collection at school. It was really heartwarming."

"A collection? For me?"

"Sure the 'Get Thumper and Bambi Laid Fund.'"

The girls found themselves sandwiched in between two very drunk and very smelly seniors classmen.

The first port of call was "The Pink Pussy Cat." Their dates escorted them into the sleazy salon.

"Here's the little queens," Butch said to the greasy low life squatting behind the counter, like a troll on a toadstool. "Cherry ain't they?"

"Fix 'em up real nice. Tonight, is going be a lot of boys' lucky night."

Both girls landed up in black tattered fishnets and nose-bled stilettos. Thumper, however, opted for the cinch of black leather. Bambi on the other hand chose the snuggle of surgical latex. Both wore matching studded chrome pinch collars.

The next stop, it turned out, was the big keg party at the community college. Dazed and confused guys wheeled and wobbled about everywhere with hardly a girl to be seen.

Bambi and Thumper proved an immediately hit.

"I did it," Thumper said, coming out of the men's room about ten minutes after their grand entrance on leash.

"You did?"

"Sure. It was nothing."

"You call having sex with some stranger nothing?" Bambi blurted.

"Not sex. Just a blow job is all."

"And that's not sex?"

"Nope. I asked my big sister. She said, 'It don't mean squat.'"

"Oh." Bambi had meet Thumper's sister. She thought that if anyone would know, she'd know.

"Try it. You'll like it" the muscle boy who grabbed and snared Bambi in his lap belched. Manfully, he picked Bambi up in his hairy arms and carried her into the little boy's room like it was their wedding night.

Bambi didn't get to see much of the keg party after that. All she did see were the four walls of the toilet stall and a lot of sloppy circumcised white hard-ons.

After most everyone had passed out Bambi found Thumper sitting alone on a musty sofa.

"Where's the gruesome twosome?"

"They left hours ago with the loot."

"Loot?"

Thumper shook his head and said, "Do you have any idea what a sweet ass like yours can earn an hour, Honey?"

"You don't have any chap-stick, do you?"

"No." Thumper scrunched his face up, as if Bambi was painted in beer puke.

"How about something for penis breath?"

"Come on," Thumper said, standing. "We've got to get home before dawn, or we're fucked."

"Again?"