Forbidden Feelings

Breakfast

   I woke up early and drove myself to the market again, I couldn't find Noah there but I did find eggs, bacon, and bread. It's a simple but delicious breakfast.

   When I walk inside, Josh is still asleep on the couch and I don't know where Cole went. I begin frying the bacon first and get hit by grease, "shit!" Cole walks into the room shirtless and in only pajama pants that have his boxer line right above the trim of his pants. He has a six-pack and his muscles are larger than I thought they'd be. "Like what you see?" I immediately snap out of the trance and Josh walks over groaning. "Here," I toss him a bottle of painkillers. "Where did you get the food?"

   I turned back around to the pain that splattered me again, "fuck!" Josh and Cole both laugh but Cole walks behind me and tells me to move so I do. "I went to the market." I saw the muscles on Cole's back tense when I said that. 

   "Was Noah there?" I get upset knowing that I might not see my reading buddy again. 

   "No."

   "Who's Noah?" Cole remains focused on the bacon and Josh looks over at me, "he is the boy that is basically Kinsley's soul mate." I smile at the thought, "shut up." I see his back tense once more. "What? It's true."

   "No it's not. Do you two even remember last night?" Simultaneously, Josh says no and Cole says yes. "You drank more than I did, how the hell do you remember anything?" His question is directed to Cole. 

   "I'm not a lightweight." He hands us both food and I thank him. I shrug, I don't fully understand the obsession with alcohol. I just drink on occasion because other people do. 

buzz-buzz

"Shit, it's mom, I gotta go. She told me to go pick up something." My birthday is in a few days so I can already guess that it's a birthday present. "Yo, do you mind keeping an eye on her?" He points at me. 

   "I'm not a child Josh."

   "You're still my little sister." Cole nods at him and Josh takes off. Grabbing the milk out of the fridge, Cole is behind the door. "Shit Cole, you fucking scared me." I'm eye level with his collarbones and holy fuck is he hot. No. No. Absolutely not Kinsley. No. "You didn't answer my question." I pour myself a glass of milk while responding, "what question?"

   "Why wouldn't you kiss me last night?" Is he still on this? I roll my eyes and sit down with my glass of milk. "I don't want to talk about it." He puts the milk away then leans over with his hands holding him up against the bar. "What?"

   "What? Have you never been kissed before or something?"

   "That's it. I'm going to my room." I grab my milk and get off the stool ready to make my way upstairs but he runs in front of me blocking my path. "What now?"

   "Oh my God."

   "What?"

   "You've never been kissed before?"

   "Yep, it's hilarious, an 18-year old virgin who's never had a kiss before. You know what? Screw you, Cole." His eyes darken, a darkness that I'm not afraid of. "When and where?"

   "Excuse me?" He didn't just say that. "I said, when and where." I ignore his comments that caused my insides to melt, "I'm gonna go, I have a book to finish." He steps to the side, allowing me to pass him. 

   That was weird. There is no way Cole likes me. He still sees me as the nerdy girl with braces and glasses... doesn't he? Kinsley, you're being ridiculous, he definitely still sees you as a child. I roll my eyes as I curl up in my bed with a book. I make it to chapter 4 but I must have fallen asleep because I wake up to my brother honking the horn. This bed is too comfortable and warm to get out of right now. "Kinsley!" 

   I groan and cover my head with my pillow and my door opens. "Go away."

   "It's 10 in the morning and you're sleeping. That might be why you're still a virgin." I uncover my face and see Cole leaning against my door frame. "Dude, what the hell?" I hear my brother call from the bottom of the steps. "What?" I hear Josh's footsteps growing louder with each step he takes coming upstairs. "Kinsley, are you?"

   "Oh my God will you both just shut up already." I get out of bed and walk downstairs and plop on the sofa. I can hear them whispering upstairs, they are bickering over how Cole knows that and he explains the game again. I'm too annoyed for their bullshit right now, "I'm not deaf!" They both come walking downstairs.

   "Are you on your period or something?" I shoot Josh daggers and he backs off. "Dude, why would you even ask that?" For once, Cole asks a logical question. 

   I'm over it all. This is the first time I have seen him in 3 years and my brother isn't who I used to know him to be. I stand up and go back upstairs and change into a pair of sweat pants and a tank top then grab my book to head back downstairs where my brother and Cole are sitting on the couch. I have nothing to say to them, "Kins?"

   I ignore my brother, "Kinsley, come on." I grab a beer out of the fridge and head outside. It's going to storm, the air is cooler and the clouds are a deep gray. I lay down on the sand and close my eyes. As soon as I do I hear a voice, "Kinsley?" I sit up, it's Noah. 

   "Hey," I'm surprised to see him here right now.

   "You okay?"

   "Yeah, I'm alright. Just tired," he sits down beside me. "what's up?" I tell him about my mom bailing and how my brother is a dick and how Cole lied. "Wait, so you are single?" I nod at his words. "So, do you want to go out?" I don't want to be here, so I agree and ask if we could leave now, "yeah." I smile at him and lead him through the house. 

   "Hey Noah." I look over at my brother who is now trying to be polite and I roll my eyes. Cole is tensed up again and he is glaring at Noah. "Hey," he doesn't say anything else to him but turns his focus to me, "where are you going?"

   "Out," I go on, "Noah, you ready?" He nods and we walk out of the house.