Forbidden Feelings

The Arrival

   "I'm here," I texted my mom to let her know I made it to the beach house. 

   "K. Josh should be there soon. Oh, and Cole is coming with him." Cole is my brother, Josh's, best friend. They have been best friends since they were both in seventh grade and Cole moved to town. He was the new kid and my brother took that as a chance to make friends. It's actually annoying how easily Josh makes friends. I keep to myself, I stick my nose into books rather than other people's business, and just get through day-to-day. Thankfully, I just graduated high school so now I can work on what I really want to do. Become a nurse. 

   "Ok," I don't mind Cole, he is just an ass sometimes. Josh and him were on the football team, such a cliche, I know. Unfortunately, being a jock, apparently comes with being a prick as well. My brother has limits to how much Cole can say to me, he learned the painful way not to call me a bitch. That cost him a bloody nose and bruised ego, courtesy of my brother. 

   I decided while I wait, I might as well enjoy the sun. I put on my white bikini and laid out in the sun on a beach towel. I haven't seen my brother or Cole since they left for college which was three years ago. When I said my goodbyes to him, I had on braces and a short, shoulder-length hair cut. I was always compared to that character on finding Nemo with the mouth guard. It was super aggravating. 

   "Hey," a familiar voice yells and I turn my head back to the deck where my brother is walking down the stairs. "Hi!" I scream and run up to him to give him a hug. "Woah, what happened to you?"

   "Rude much?" I glared at Cole for his question. He grew up, a lot. Cole used to be on the smaller side with barely enough muscle to pick up a child and now he's ripped. Josh grabbed my arm and made me turn around, "what the hell is that?" I forgot about that. It was a birthday gift to myself. I got a spine tattoo that reads, 'with pain comes strength'. "Oh, it was my birthday gift."

   "Sweet!" Josh smacked Cole, "ow!"

   "no. Not sweet. Who decided this was a birthday gift?"

   "I did." I rolled my eyes. "Holy shit, you've grown up."

   "Yeah," the spite in my tone is enough to let him know that I'm still mad at him for all the holidays he didn't come home to, "that tends to happen when someone leaves and doesn't visit for three years." His face is full of apologies that he has never said. 

   "Sorry Kins, I didn't mean to miss out on so much." 

   "It's fine." I walk past them both and head inside, "Ow!"

   "Boys, play nice." I don't know what happened but whatever it was, Cole probably got smacked for doing something stupid. 

   "Okay," I look at my brother, "I trust that you can show him around and remember to stay out of my space." He nods knowing that I am very protective over my room. I have at least one hundred books in there and if anything happens to even one of them, Josh knows I will lose my shit. Cole hasn't seen what happens when my books get touched, but my brother tried grabbing one once, I kicked the back of his knee so his leg gave out. I don't play around when it comes to my books.

   "Nerd," Cole scoffs and I scold him. I head back to my room and grab, my favorite book, 'To Kill a Mockingbird', and lay down on my bed to begin to reread it for the millionth time. 

   "I'm sorry honey, I'm not going to make it there. My boss called me and said he needs the report by this Wednesday instead of next." Go figure, I can't rely on my mom for anything. Once again, it's just me. On that note, I can't focus on my book because my stomach is growling. I'm still in my bikini so I grab my coral shaded cover up and head downstairs. I look around but I can't find my brother, all I see is a lazy Cole sitting on the couch drinking water and watching some stupid game. I roll my eyes at his ignorance of the beautiful beach outside. My cell's almost dead, shit. Ugh, mom was supposed to bring food so now, I have to fend for myself. I have cash in my wallet thankfully but my phone is only at 2% and my charger is in my mom's car. I call out for Josh and on the fifth call Cole responds, "he's not here."

   "What?"

   "He's not here." Of course, "okay, can I borrow your phone?"

   He doesn't even look up as he hands me his phone. "Thanks," I hold the phone in my hand as I walk outside to call the pizza place. "Fuck!" I scream and Cole comes running out, "what the hell happened?" 

   "Nothing, I'm fine. I have to go to the store." I give him back his phone, "wait, why did you need my phone?"

   "Mine's dead."

   "And?" 

   "And, I was gonna order a pizza but Loretta's is closed." He rolls his eyes as I walk past him, back inside, to grab my keys.

   "Fine. Let's go."

   "I don't need a babysitter. I'm fine." I'm actually livid right now but it is perfectly fine. 

   "You sure?" Is he for real right now? "Yes, I'm sure." He points down at my legs, "son of a bitch!" I stomp back upstairs and throw on a pair of ripped up, skinny jeans. I don't even bother putting on a different top. Now that I am finally ready, I head out to my car and see him sitting in the passenger seat. 

   "What do you think you're doing?"

   "Going to the store, I have shit I need to get."

   "Fine," I don't even bother trying to argue with him. Knowing my brother, he probably told him to keep an eye on me. It's a fifteen minute drive from the beach to the shops. "How's the boyfriend?" I raise an eyebrow. "Oh, are y'all not a thing anymore?"

   I exhale and try to keep my voice as calm as I can, "I've never had a boyfriend." He puts his phone down and pays attention to me, "what?"

   "I didn't stutter." He puts his hands up in the air, "my bad. Thought you did."

   "I'm not having this conversation with you." I turn on my music and we listen to it the rest of the way, it's strange the way he is acting right now. He isn't being obnoxiously annoying. 

   After we finally make it to the market, I walk inside focusing on one thing. Food. He has other things on his mind which he is making very obvious. Every woman we pass he checks out while I make my way through the store getting what we actually need. A guy catches my eye, he is staring at me. He is quite cute in the messy hair, sleepy eyes, sort of way. "Give me a minute, I'll be right back." He looks familiar and I leave Cole with the cart while I go up to him. "No way! Kinsley Grace?" 

   It clicks, "Holy shit! Noah!" I wrap my arms around his neck and he picks up by squeezing me then puts me down, "how have you been?" Noah is my summertime best friend, I've been coming up every summer to catch up on reading and a year ago, I met him. He was here at the shops working, just like he is now and I had a book with me that we sat and talked about for a while and then he came back to the beach house and we laid down talking about our favorite books. "I'm doing good, just graduated last month." He smiles shyly, "does that mean that I can finally ask you out?"

   Before I can respond Cole is behind me, "nah man, she's taken." Excuse me. What did he just say? "Um, what?" 

   "She doesn't seem to be aware of that." I turn around and he is not even a full foot away from me. "We gotta get going babe." Babe? Ew. Just ew.

   "We haven't even checked out yet and don't call me babe." He grabs my hand and pulls me back outside to where the car is parked. "Dude what the fuck?"

   "What? Wasn't he bothering you?" He knows damn well he wasn't. "No you ass. And now what? I'm fucking hungry."

   "It's a good thing your brother just got home from some pizza shop across town then." I roll my eyes and he tells me to quit acting like a child. I am so over the toxic masculinity right now.