I'll always remember us | ✔️

35. Shivani

"We need to talk"
Words were shaky coming out of his mouth.
I knew I invited this upon myself.

"First you act weird, then you don't tell me something so important for quite a while and then u expect me to....i dont understand anything, it's all aso confusion"

His voice slowly rising.
He was incensed, anger clear in his eyes.

"I am not sabotaging you, I was trying to...to deal with this."

I hissed under my breath.

"DID YOU PURPOSELY HIDE ANYTHING???
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO HIDE THINGS"

This time his voice reached a level I did not like, I will not let a man yell at me in whatever case.

"Are you....accusing of sabotaging you"
Clear betrayal in my voice

"You always do hide things"

"ALWAYS!!.....I DO THIS ALWAYS???.
HOW SIR???
DID YOU TELL ME WHY YOU LEFT ALL THOSE YEARS AGO?
DID YOU TELL ME WHY YOU AGREED TO MARRY ME?
GO BACK IN TIME...AND THINK DID YOU EVER CLEARLY ANSWER ANY OF MY QUESTION....NO!!!
AND I AM THE ONE HIDING THINGS??
TALK ABOUT A HYPOCRITE."

I yell out of all I had in me.
"Seriously l....how does that compare to this??"

He improved his tone a bit after my outbreak.

"How does it not.....I was trying to handle everything very professionally and in court plus I was about to tell you l, was waiting for the right time but ...you"

"How were you about to handle things....did you really think you could handle this??"

"I would have handled it better than you ever handled anything....including our relationship"

That came out of mouth very swiftly, I didn't even realize I said that.
And when I realized...it was too late.

"handled....our relationship???"
He looked so shocked, like he had no clue what I was talking about.

"Yea!
Did you ever tell me why you left all those years ago?
Did you ever tell me the things I asked about your life, your family, your....everything?
Did you ever....no, you never opened up to me while I was trying and trying endlessly.
Then you came back into my life like a storm and when I closed my doors like you...you just turned this soft guy I never knew."

"What?"

"Yes. I felt like I never knew you....
The advit I last saw is so different than what you are.
I don't know what happened and honestly I don't care now but I hated the way you never.....thought of me as someone who you could talk to.
I understand that you couldn't open up to your girlfriend but we were childhood friends advit.....we have known each other our whole life and yet"

"Really shivani???....
You have known me my whole life yet you could never see anything.
You were as blind as a new born baby.
You came to my house daily......we played, we hanged out, we went everywhere together...The three of us yet you never saw anything.
You called us friends....but friends know what is going on in one's life without them even saying word.
You are the hypocrite not me."

"Oh really then.....tell me why did you leave??"

I was feeling betrayed, betrayed to a point where I didn't even know what to else to say.

I was also second guessing myself, have I really been that blind??
Did I miss a big part of his life, his misery by being selfish?

"Me...all that time ago...I left...I left because of my father....you know he had died very unexpectedly and I didn't know what to do.
I had to leave....leave to prove myself to my father....I had to build this company because he knew i never could."

He sounded very low.
After he blurted that out, there was pin drop silence.
I had touched a nerve and he didn't know how to respond.

"I..."

He began talking

"I...don't think I can explain it well...but thats all I can say.
He .....once said to me....while we were together.
'If you ever manage to do anything with your life .....which is difficult but if you ever do.....this girl will take everything from you'

And now I think that the one statement I never wanted......I never thought you could be the one who would take everything from me....."

I couldn't decipher what he was feeling this time.
It was the advit who knew how to hide his emotions.
He wasn't hiding then until now but....

"And you know...even after all of that I could never stop loving you...loving you the way I did.

DID??
I THINK I STILL DO EVEN AFTER SO MANY YEARS..... SO MANY FUCKING YEARS I STILL THINK I LOVE YOU LIKE I DID ALL THOSE YEARS AGO.
I THOUGHT...ALL THOSE YEARS WITHOUT YOU...WHEN I THOUGHT OF YOU...ALL I THOUGHT WAS ABOUT HOW I HAVE MOVED ON BUT THEN YOU STORMED YOUR WAY AGAIN AND THE MOMENT I SAW YOU I KNEW I NEVER DID GET OVER YOU AND I PROBABLY NEVER WILL BUT YOU!

I don't think I can ever stop loving you but I don't think I can be in love with you.......

And that's the misery I am living with, mixed with everyother problem I have"

What??
WHAT???
WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST HEAR??

"you...you...you love me??"
These three words barely made out of my mouth.

"YES OF COURSE YOU IDIOT BLIND WOMEN...CAN YOU NOT SEE IT??"

Idiot and blind????
He's not wrong i have been and idiot and I have been blind.
I agree but.....

"What...do you mean?"
I wasn't able to comprehend anything
Especially the words that just came out of his mouth.....recently.....The love part.
I was unsure...I......

I thought I needed sleep and I was day dreaming.
Perhaps I was already asleep and was dreaming my way through this shit.

I-----

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