Phan at Hogwarts

#6 || A Sudden Realization

Dan and Phil had several sleeping places, and the only consistent factor was that they where always together.
Many evenings they slept side by side in the DA headquarters. (Tyler once told them to get a room. The Room of requirement complied, bricks melting into a doorway. The boys refused to go in.) A few times they risked sneaking Phil into Slytherin, only for Dans amazing bed. Some nights they slept in Hufflepuff, either in Phil's bed, or sometimes the other boys would tug their duvets to the floor and they would have a slumber party. Things like that seemed to be not only fun, but necessary in the dark times they where facing. Morale in all the students was nearly nonexistent. But Dumbledore's Army didn't run on morale exactly, but on grim determination, and fierce desire to protect each other. And if their desire to protect was a flame, Dan and Phil's where a nuclear bomb mid-explosion.
Covert meetings for DA where only a few of the things that had altered Dans daily life around the castle. The Carrows where not only leaving him alone, but completely ignoring him, like they had forgotten about his existence. Which, in a way, they had. Neville had said it was more like all recollection of Dan and his past actions had been buried. But the spell, while complicated and rare, wasn't very strong. He had said that any distinct action or train of thought could dig up the lost memories.
Dans life seemed to be going uphill despite the circumstances, because not only was he free of the Carrows, but the other members of the DA seemed to be befriending him, if rather warily. He would receive nods in the halls, or someone would sit next to him, choose him as a partner in classes he and Phil didn't share. This had of course raised the attention of other Slytherins. Why was that weird outcast suddenly making friends? With other houses, no less? Most of the Slytherins where isolated, and proud of it.
But the most prominent change was a mixture of worsening rebellion and restriction. The DA where becoming infamous around the castle, as a select group of saviors and insurgents. No one knew who they where, a small group of maybe twenty, talked about only in exited whispers, but as many rumors there where and the gain of new members weekly, their faces where a mystery to the rest of the castle.
But as if in retaliation to Dumbledore's Army, Snape called for Death Eaters. Nearly ten arrived by Hogwarts express, each of them eager to make the students lives a living hell, to bring any one who put less than a toe out of line within an inch of their lives.
It was two days after their arrival that Dan heard his first mission Via Phil. The morning was gloomy like always, but when Dan looked up to see his best friend, the clouds cleared, despite his news.
Phil slid onto the bench next to Dan, his hip bumping against Dans."Dan, Neville's got your first mission." He hissed into his ear. Slytherins heads were starting to turn. "Meet me in the astronomy tower when you're done here." Phil's breath was cool on Dans neck making him shiver, his lips barley skimming Dans ear and temple as he turned to leave. It left him with the shivers and and a somersaulting heartbeat.
"Who was that, Howell? Your boyfriend?"
Dan turned to face Zabini, an intimidating seventh year.
"N- no. Just my friend."
"Yea! Boyfriend!" This time it was a rosy cheeked forth year.
"Er no, I just told you he's just my friend. We already did this, like two seconds ago."
"Shut that smart mouth Howell. Or should we call you Homo Howell! Homo Howell! Homo Howell!"
Dan wanted to get angry, to say something back, something that would really hurt. But all he could stutter out was;
"No! He's no one! Really, I hardly know him!"
He regretted the words as soon as they where out of his mouth, partly because they where a lie, and partly because he knew, out of the corner of his eye, that Phil was watching from Hufflepuff. And that he had just dipped his head, he had heard what Dan had said.
Crap.
Dan was ashamed, he had to make it right, prove to Phil he didn't mean it but he didn't know how. But now was not the time. "Whatever Howell." Zabini snickered. "We've got places to be." He got up from the table, his posse in tow.
No you don't. Your an idiot, a good for nothing, who always skips class.

When Dan finally got the courage to lift his forehead off the table and talk to Phil, He was gone.
Oh. He's already gone to the tower.
Dan heaved himself up, grabbing his bag and rubbing his head where lines from the wood had pressed themselves into his skin.
Better get going then.
The walk to the astronomy tower takes a good ten minuets, at a brisk pace. But Dan was dragging his feet, feeling wretched.
He knew he had hurt Phil's feelings. But he couldn't help thinking that thus is what happens when you befriend a Slytherin. They stab you in the back for their own well being.
Why am I like this? In this house? I hate it, and I hate what I've done to Phil, especially after all he's done for me. I hate myself.
I'm a betrayer.
I'm selfish.
I'm ugly.
I'm mean.
I'm stupid.
The thoughts kept coming, and Dan couldn't make them stop, didn't even want them to.
Somewhere in the back of humans he knew he may have been blowing things out of proportion but he really did feel like crap. He needed to redeem himself. Prove his friendship to not only Phil, but to those bullies. Who where they to make fun of Phil? Of his friendship? He needed to show himself, Phil, them, that he was lying and they where wrong.
"Ow!"
Was that Phil? He was close to the tower, but Phil's voice wasn't alone.
"Well? Are you gonna say it? Or am I gonna have to teach you what you are even worse?" Was that- Zabini?
"That didn't even make sense."
"You are a faggot!"
"Umph!" There was a thump as a body hit the floor.
Another umph, the sound of flesh hitting flesh, Phil gasping, cruel laughter.
And Dan was running. Around the last corner, down the corridor where Zabini and his two lackeys stood over Phil who was crouched in a ball at their feet.
Oh no.
This is all my fault.
They're beating him up because of me! They must've heard Phil say our meeting place, that's why they left the hall! To- to beat him up!
Because of me.
Dan sprinted until he was directly behind Zabini who was kicking Phil in the stomach and ribs with a vengeance.
Dan grabbed his shoulder, spinning him around, and sent him to the ground with a massive punch that collided with his jaw.
Both were in shock. Dan's adrenaline was racing, rage roaring through his body, making his chest swell and and his arms tense like springs. He wanted to hurt this boy who was causing his Phil pain.
Zabini was back on his feet, already sending his fist toward Dan in retaliation. Dan ducked, running behind him, using muscles he didn't know he had to kick his enemy in the back.
Zabini stumbled several steps forward, turning toward Dan his rage to match his own. "You are both faggots! Big gay bastards!" He roared.
And them Dan knew. Knew what he could do to prove to all of them that Phil really did matter to him, But mostly to crush Zabini, with shock, fury, to prove him wrong, to prove him right, whatever. He knew this would hurt him, and what's more, in some crazed part of his mind he wasn't registering he wanted to do it. He knew it didn't even make sense but he also knew it would work.
So Dan swooped down, grabbed Phil by the shoulders and kissed him full on the mouth. It was sloppy and harsh, with clashing teeth and Dans eyes screwed shut, Phil's wide open.
"Got that right."
He dropped Phil, who crumpled to his knees in a daze, eyes still the size of saucers, Dan refusing to look at him as he advanced on Zabini.
"Get lost." It must have been an amusing sight, the short, soft cheeked first year glaring at the lanky seventh year, but to his surprise, Zabini turned with a look of disgust and hurried away.
"Uhh." Dan glanced back at Phil as soon as the bully was out of sight.
Phil was still on the floor, his eyes glazed over.
"S- Sorry about that."
"Uhhh... Uh huh..."
"Er Phil? Are you okay?" Dans own heart was still beating fast, but it was probably just because for the first time in his life, he had stood up to a bully. And probably started some horrible rumors. But it was still a victory. He was exited. That was all.
It was only a- a ki-
He had only kis-
He just-
To Phil-
And he had wanted to!
No. He had only done that to show Zabini that he had been lying.Right?
Right?
Right.
It was nothing. Meant nothing. Might as well forget it had happened.