Codependency

Part 18 // You ready?

(Short chapter, because I've been writing this for two months and I'm exhausted
By the way. Please don't think this fanfic is hot or sexy. That's not what this is supposed to be. This is abuse.)

Catra smiled more in the following days. She took more time off. She was bolder about breaking the rules and sneaking in contraband food. She spent so much more time with Adora than she had before Adora's rescue. Adora drank it all in. She needed the attention from her friend. Adora's trepidation about the task before them, killing Hordak, seemed to vanish in the moments where she had Catra to herself.

"Hungry?" Catra asked from her cot.

"I'm okay." Adora replied, sitting so close that their arms brushed.

That was something else Adora had noticed; Catra was more considerate. She wanted to make Adora comfortable. It seemed that Adora choosing Catra over the Rebellion really worked in her favor. This sent another pang of guilt through Adora, that she had even left in the first place and betrayed her dearest friend so badly.

I'll make it up to her eventually. Adora told herself.

Catra hummed in monotone, poking at a tech-pad that lay on her legs. She did her job more remotely these days, giving Adora ample time to grovel to her friend and apologize. Catra never said she forgave Adora, but she didn't get angry. She usually scrunched up her face like she didn't know what to say, but needed to say something.

How long? Adora wanted to ask.
How long until they killed Hordak?
Is she still letting me help with that?

Catra paused in her work and turned to scowl at Adora.
"I can feel your eyes on me. What?"

Adora instantly looked away.
"Can I ask what you're planning to do after... you know...?"

Catra's gaze was guarded as she replied.
"I'm going to run the Horde."

"And do what?" Adora prompted.

"Don't ask stupid questions. I won't hurt those Rebels, if that's what you're worried about." Catra sneered the word 'Rebels'.

Adora put her hand on Catra's arm, distracting the Force Captain from returning to her work.
"I guess that's mostly what I was wanting to know, thank you."

"Mostly?" Catra asked irritably. "There's more?" Her eyes softened at Adora's touch, however.

"What am I going to do?" Adora had to ask.
"Like, can I help you run the Horde? Can I work on dissolving the war training and..." she trailed off at Catra's withering look.

"You're going to be my best friend, is what you're going to do." Catra snapped. "That's all I wanted in the first place."

Adora's eyes shifted downward, no longer meeting Catra's.
"I will be your best friend. You know what I mean, though. Let me in on your plans, I'm going to find them out anyway."

"I need you to stop asking stupid questions." Catra said. "You're supposed to be next to me and smile at me and do what I say."

Adora raised her eyes again to glower at her friend.
"I'm trying to make sure Etheria will be safe after Hordak is gone."

Catra shoved Adora's hand away from her arm.
"Don't you trust me? Aren't you doing this for me?" She sounded hurt.

"Of course I am, Catra! I came looking for you, didn't I?" Adora reached tentatively towards Catra again, stopping when the Force Captain shrank away from her.
"I do trust you. But we have to talk about important things if you want me to keep trusting you."

Catra gave Adora a defensive glare.
"You don't trust me. You don't love me, you're going to leave again-"

"Oh my stars, Catra, calm down!" Adora grabbed Catra by the wrists and pulled her up from her leaning position.
"I'm right here!" She pleaded, exasperated now.

Catra hissed, baring her fangs as she tried to free herself.
"If you trusted me you wouldn't question me!"

That's stupid. Friends don't sneak around. Glimmer and Bow didn't... they were honest, no matter how they thought I might react.
Adora let that thought mull over as she tried to keep Catra under control, before feeling a pang of shame.
What right do I even have to demand that from Catra? After what I did.

"I'm sorry. Calm down, and let me apologize, I don't want you to freak out." Adora pleaded, releasing Catra's wrists.
"I shouldn't have grilled you like that. I trust you, I promise I do."

Catra pulled her arms in close to her chest and stared bitterly back at Adora.
"And?"

"I'm not going to leave. No matter what. Even if you don't want to tell me anything." Adora answered cautiously.

Catra's demeanor softened slight as she said, in a softer tone, "...and?"

"And?" Adora echoed, confused.

"Tell me you're my best friend, and you like me best." Catra mumbled.

She sounds like she did when we were kids. Adora thought irritably.

"Of course I like you best. Who else?" Adora reassured the angry felid.

Catra finally, reluctantly allowed Adora to hug her. Adora noticed Catra wouldn't put her arms around Adora in return, but it was okay just for Catra to not be shutting her out or be violent. When Adora pulled away, Catra poked at her tech-pad again before tossing it somewhere, who cares where, on the floor probably.

"Can you at least tell me when?" Adora finally weedled. "When you're going to do it."

Catra studied Adora intently for several long seconds before she broke eye contact.
"Tonight. I was going to do it while you slept."

Adora sat straight up, feeling very alarmed at that.
"And you didn't tell me!? You know I want to be there! What if something goes wrong?"

"I can do this."
Catra waved her furred hand at Adora dismissively , which didn't calm her down in the least.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Adora scolded.

"I don't rightly care how you feel." Catra snapped back. "Just do what I say."

Adora was prepared to argue back, but she forced herself to stop before the words came rushing out, ruining everything once again. Catra was clearly setting a boundary for this friendship. Adora had to listen to Catra, take her advice, and really hear her out. That was surely trust.

And I do trust her... Adora felt an odd taste in her mouth as the thought crossed her mind. I do! Okay? I trust Catra. Stop messing with me, brain.

"Alright." Adora finally said, bowing her head a little.
"You know what you're doing. Just don't get hurt. Please."

Catra sniffed disdainfully and looked down her nose at Adora.
"Don't do that pathetic worry-face. I'm going to be fine."

Despite her cold tone, Catra bundled Adora into a hug. Adora was only faintly surprised- Catra had become more affectionate as well in the former days. Adora sat awkwardly tangled in Catra's arms, trying to hug her back but failing and ended up leaving one arm awkwardly draped around Catra's shoulder.

"I'll try not to be a pathetic worry-faced idiot." Adora said dryly, rolling her eyes.

"Good. Then I'll let you watch." Catra offered. "It's just about time. Hordak will be closed in his Sanctum all night. You ready?"

Adora swallowed. "Uh, yeah. Whenever you are."