Do You Want To Explode?

Chapter 20

You and Alvin Goodman frantically run out of Gru's Emo House and leap inside of Gru's car thing (what is that thing. the vehicle. you know what i mean right).

The chipmunk rushes to the steering wheel or whatever i forgot whether gru's car thingy has a steering wheel or if it's steered some other way and i don't know what to google to check and begins frantically driving frantically.

You shed a tear frantically. Frankly you're nearly out of tears and should probably save some for later because else you might start crying blood again. Your eyes turn red in anticipation.

He drives for a few minutes, during which you, naturally, being you, take the time to shed a couple more tears just to be sure. Then you shed one more. Again just to be one hundred percent 100% entirely completetely sure. You're never too prudent with tear shedding.

Then oh shit oh fuck what was that what happened holy fuck.

"what was that", you helpfully enquiry (autocorrect is telling me thats actually spelt inquiry??? but i mean. is it really?) like the narration didn't ask exactly the same thing litterally like 1 line ago.

"I think i just ran someone over" says Alvin in dissonant serenity (like the tvtropes of the same name). he also raises an eyebrow but at this point you probably expected him to do that already

You go look at the little mirror things that cars have at the sides of them you know what i'm talking about right??? I don't know what these are actually called. wait actually im not even sure grus car has them. it probably doesnt. hold on let me google it.

Yeah no gru's car doesn't cannonically have the little side mirrors but in this story it does because it's convenient for the plot (not even the plot actually it's just this throwaway incident)

In it you see the reflection of the wretched fiend you guys just hurriedly ran over: a grey bitch with horns and blue blood. You can tell she has blue blood because there is blood everywhere because you just ran her over and she's dead. Good riddance.

You promptly ignore the fact you guys have just committed vehicular manslaughter because you have more important things to think about damnit!!!

After like a billion (well, just one actually) tangeants the story went on and some more in universe minutes you finally get to the police place and run to the guy from chapter 13.

WE HAVE EVIDENCE..." you utter

ok unnamed police man pronounces

"Wait hold on" you vocalise before whipping out your phone because suddenly your friend Nepeta "arsenic catnip" Leijon (descendant of "mewing legion"), is messaging you.

arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling yourName [YN]

AC: :33 < hey yn!

AC: :33 < uh so someone i know also ended up in some other universe like you did and i was wondering if you saw her

AC: :33 < she hasnt messaged any of us in a little while and so i was wondering just in case maybe the universe she ended up in is the same one you did

AC: :33 < even if that would frankly be highly inpurrobable

YN: uh

YN: yeah uh nepeta i dont think...

YN: she probably wont be messageing you in er

YN: quite a while if ever i mean uh

YN: yeah probably never again it seems to me

AC :33 < what do you mean she wont be messaging us ever again

YN: we ran her over nepeta

AC: :33 < oh

AC: :33 < fair

YN: anyways see you later nepeta we have important things to do right now like prove a murder and stuff.

AC: :33 < have fun with that

arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling yourName [YN]

You turn back to the police guy.

"What were you saying" he declares questionningly. "I mean what were you stating" he corrects himself

"We have evidence" Alvin avers

"Evidence of what" avows the police guy "im sorry i dont know what you're asseverating about"

"What we are articulating is we have evidecnce THAT THAT CATGIRL *DID* KILL GRU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" you communicate exclaimedyellingly

"What catgirl?" unnamed police guy verbalises in a question way (hence the "question" mark)

"The one we told you about in chapter 13" you divulge. or denote or disclose or adduce or recite or whatever the fuck. Remember kids, there's nothing wrong with just using the word "said" in your writing.

"Oooooh right" says the police guy. See this is perfectly fine. You don't have to use synonyms you found by googling "synonyms of say" to make your writing "more professional". The last bunch of lines in this fic demonstrate how doing this fucking sucks in that it looks goofy as hell and you probably shouldn't do it unironically. Most professional...uh...book...people... Yeah authors whatever. just use say/said in their books anyways. It's really not that deep. Anyways back to the story, seriously this chapter is a lot longer than it should be. Like in my outline of the fic and of how every chapter is supposed to go the outline of this specific chapter is literally just one sentence long, i honestly don't know what happenned why is it 500+ words long now.

Alvin gives him the tape and he puts it in a thing to watch tapes onI STILL DONTK NOW HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS.

After a few seconds the police guy makes the face Karkat made in Homestuck page 3349 (that's the best way to explain what i mean)

You ask what's wrong.

"You..." he says.."You didn't mention the fact the catgirl in question was.. Untimely-Demise "Demi" Mary Twilight Dementia Sue Ebony Starslayer..................." he is mortified

"Why, would that have helped"

"Yes it would have SHES FUCKING TERRIFYING SHES EVIL SHE KILLED MY ENTIRE FAMILY" the police guy says and breaks into tears while alvin raises an eyeborwfklm

The n ohhmy gofd..........

oh my god...

Everything goes silent.

And all of a sudden you all hear a voice saying...................................................

....................................................

....................................................

.................................................... 

"........... >X3.. hehehghh.. YN i said u were next.... but ive decided to kill just one more person before i kil yuo XDDD"

THEN OUT OF NOWHERE FROM THE SHADOWS SHE COMES OUT OF THE ABYSS IT IS HER IT IS DEMI IT IS UNTIMELY DEMISE MARY TWILIGHT DEMENTIA SUE EBONY STARSLAYER AND SHE DECAPITATES THE PILOCE GUY NO MISS NO DODGE

"shit" says alvin

Demi turns to you and smiles evilly...

"Now," she says, "your REALLY next :3"

And so on these words she promptly proceeds to kill you.