Uthando olungavumelekanga: Forbidden love

Mbali#37

It's been a while since I last saw Zingisa and why didn't he come back to get me like he promised?What if something bad happened to him?I'm getting worried now and that is not good for the baby ,I'll go search for him today ,I have to.So I took a bath and went to search for him ,I hope he didn't get eaten by some wild animals and I'll have to have some courage to look for him at his home and check if he's okay or get some hint on what's going on like why didn't he come and get me.So I went to his home and I heard some noises there as if there was some celebration of some sort ,I wonder what's going on in that house.When I peeped there I saw that there were plenty of people there and it looks like a wedding maybe that's why Zingisa couldn't come ,he was busy preparing for a wedding of his sibling or whatever and the lady who's getting married is so pretty with her short hair and cute baby bump ,I want to see the groom so I went further left to see the groom.What?!it's him ,Zingisa is the one who's getting married I can't believe it people ,I got played ,my father warned me about this guy and I didn't even listen to him ,how could he do something like this I don't understand.My tears betrayed me I just froze there and cried ,no it can't be him people ,Zingisa wouldn't hurt me like that ,he can't do this to me after so many things I've done for him ,he can't hurt me like this!!
Aya:Ncinci?!(Aunty?!)
Mbali:(Looked at him) Ayabonga?
Aya:Uzofuna ntoni apha?!(What are you doing here?!)
I just looked at him and cried ,when he got closer I ran.My feet betrayed me ,I got to Zamahle ,my second favourite place in the world ,I went to the river near Zamahle and drank water as I was thirsty and I chilled under the tree ,my heart hurts people and it seems like it's going to rain any minute from now counting ,I just want to stop crying and I can't ,how could he do something like this to me?I thought he loved me but clearly I was wrong ,he's getting married to someone else ,he was just stringing me along ,I miss Menzi now ,he wouldn't hurt me like this ,I know he wouldn't.Worst part Sindiswa is there supporting this nonsense ,I can't believe it it's just so unbelievable ,I'm glad I didn't tell Zingisa about my pregnancy ,I don't know why but I'm glad ,I mean he got another person pregnant and she got pregnant before I could even get pregnant ,I mean her baby bump is bigger than this flat stomach of mine.
Mbali:Gogo naku ngilukhethile uthando njengoba ubushilo kepha lothando lunameva futhi luyahlaba gogo ,ngicela ungibonise indlela futhi uyikhanyise ngiyakucela(Grandma look I choose love over everything but this love has thorns and it left me bruised ,please just show me the way and be the light I'm seeking for please)
I then cried again ,it hurts so bad people.After crying I brushed my stomach and just let our memories keep on playing in the ballroom of my mind  ,from the day we first met ahhh people ,good old days ,how I didn't want to talk to him and how scared I actually was and he gave me a beautiful name ,Nontyantyambo.From the day we first kissed ,first had sex ahhh people I am going to miss him but to love is to let go sometimes ,I have to let him go even though my heart can't accept what he did to me.As I was so in deep thoughts I heard him calling out my name ,I can't let him see me ,maybe Ayabonga told him that he saw me there ,I have to hide ,I don't want him near me ever again ,I don't want him to manipulate me ever again.So I hid behind the tree and peeped at him ,I hope he doesn't see me or I don't vomit or anything like that people ,it will blow my cover.
Zingisa:Mbali!Mbali ndiyakucela ziveze s'thandwa sam ndifuna sithethe!Mbali!ndiyazi ukuba ukhona apha ndiyakucela s'thandwa sam ndiyakucela!!Mbali!ndithanda wena mna  ,ndithanda wena wedwa ,ndifuna ukukuchazela ukuba kuqhubekani ,ndiyakucela.Awufuni kuphuma apho uzifihle khona kulungile ndizakuthetha mna ,ndicela undixolele s'thandwa sam ,ndixolisela ukukuphoxa nokukuhlaza emva kwezinto ezingaka ondenzele zona ,ndohlulekile ukukuthanda ngendlela eyiyo kwelilizwe kodwa kwelizayo ndiyathembisa ukuba ndizakukuthanda ngendlela eyiyo ,bendingafuni sihlukane ngoluhlobo kodwa sekwenzekile ,ukuba yonke into iyaguquka ndizoza ndizokufuna ,ndiyakuthembisa kodwa okwangoku angeke ndikwazi ,ndibotshelelwe kuthando endingalaziyo ,ulinakekele ikhaya lethu ,yiyo yodwa into ongandenzela yona leyo s'thandwa sentliziyo yam , uxolo ,ndiyohlala ndikuthanda nje angeke ndiyeke ,ululonwabo lwam Mthiyane ,usale kakuhle(Mbali!Mbali please reveal yourself my love I want us to talk!Mbali!I know that you're here my love please!!Mbali!!I love you my love ,I love you only ,I want to explain to you about what's happening ,please.You don't want to reveal yourself from where you're hiding it's fine I'll just say what I want to say ,please forgive me my love ,I'm sorry for embarassing you and disappointing you like this after everything you've done for me ,I failed to love you better in this life but I promise to love you better in the next life ,I didn't want us to break up like this but now it's done ,if everything changes into something we both wanted then I'll come and get you I promise but as for now I can't ,I'm a prisoner of love I don't want and I don't even know ,please take good care of our home ,that's the only thing you could possibly do for me my love ,I'm sorry ,I'll always love you and I won't stop loving you ,you're my happy place Mthiyane , farewell)
He then left.I then cried so bad after hearing his beautiful words ,maybe he does love me or maybe he doesn't ,arghhh I don't know people ,I want to run after him and kiss him so bad but I can't do that ,I can't let myself down again ,I have to let the dog go
Mbali:Ngiyak'thanda nam ,iyobonana kwelizayo ngempela Bhungani(I love you too ,we'll meet in the afterlife Bhungani)
I then covered my heard and cried ,pulling my hair ,I didn't know what to do but all I know is I want to be in my mother's arms ,I'm going back home people.I need a fresh start ,a new me ,and raise my baby alone ,all by myself with my parents and never let myself down again.The rain started pouring ,crying with me I'd say and I stood up and went back home.I was so wet and nervous ,I didn't know what to do but all I know is I have to apologise and I don't need my father rubbing all of this in my face people.So I saw Mpiyakhe ,one of the guards and I called him and he came closer ,I love this one he's kind and soft hearted.
Mpiyakhe:Nkosazana?(Princess?)
Mbali:Sawubona Mpiyakhe(Hello Mpiyakhe)
Tears were just failing me but I'm glad he couldn't see them as it was raining and it is kinda dark as it is late
Mpiyakhe:Inkosi izokujabulela loku ,ubuyile nkosazana ,asingene endlini uye kubazali bakho endlini(The king will be excited ,you're back princess ,let's get inside so that your parents could see you)
Mbali:Inkosi izojabula mayingibona?(The king will be excited because I'm back?)
Mpiyakhe:Yebo nkosazana kudala ikubheka kodwa lutho ukukuthola ,nkosazana bengisacela singene ngiyagodola mina manje(Yes princess ,it's been a while since he has be searching for you but couldn't find you ,princess please get inside I'm feeling cold now)
Mbali:Ngiyaxolisa kepha ngiyasaba(I'm sorry but I'm scared)
Mpiyakhe:Ungathuki nkosazana ,konke kulungile(Don't be scared princess , everything's going to be just fine)
Mbali:Kepha ucishe engibulala ubaba Mpiyakhe ,ungihlukumezile(But he almost killed me Mpiyakhe ,he abused me)
Mpiyakhe:(Held my cheek)Ngiyazi nkosazana kepha kumele ukwenzile loku ,ulethe injabulo ekini futhi ngoba ayisekho ,okunye uzokuxoxa nobaba wakho ekuseni okwamanje asingene ngaphakathi ngiyagodola mina(I know princess but you have to do this ,and bring happiness within this household again as it is no more ,you guys will fix things in the morning but as for now let's get inside I'm feeling cold)
Mbali:Okay ,let's get inside
I then entered the house and Mpiyakhe left me there ,there were the both of them only with no conversation ,they seem sad and miserable just like me.And my mom looked at me and quickly stood up ,ran to me and hugged me ,my father did the same thing too.I needed it ,a warm tight hug from my parents ,I need it ,I needed them all along and I wasn't even sure because I was still crazy in love with that Xhosa gent.I cried while I'm buried in their arms and they hushed me till I kept quiet
Ma:Mntanam ubuyile(My child is back)
She then kissed me cheek
Gatsheni:Ngiyabonga ndodakazi ngokuthi ubuye ekhaya ,ngiyaxolisa mntanam ngeke ngiphinde ngikuxoshe(Thank you for returning home ,I'm sorry my child and I won't ban you ever again)
Mbali:Ngiyakuxolela baba(I forgive you dad)
Ma:Awulambile mntanam?ubuyaphi?ukhalelani Mbali?(Ain't you hungry my child?where do you come from?why are you crying Mbali?)
Mbali:Sizokhuluma ksasa ,okwamanje ngicela ukuyolala angizizwa Kahle(We'll talk tomorrow ,as for now can I just go to sleep I'm not feeling well)
Them:Kulungile(It's okay)
Ma:Sizokuhlola ekseni ngane yam(We'll check up on you in the morning)
I then smiled at them and went to my grandmother's hut ,I changed my clothes into my grandmother's old clothes ,remember I don't have clothes I left them in Lihle and Sizwe's house ,I can't wait to see her tomorrow ,I missed her.I just want to hear her stories and laugh ,that's the only therapy I need.I said a little prayer in my heart.I guess I have to make better decisions now about my life.
Mbali:Bhungani ngicela uzinakekele nam ngiyathembisa ukuthi ngizonakekela ingane yethu ,nam ngiyohlezi ngithanda wena ,ulale kahle nomfazi wakho omusha(Bhungani please take good care of yourself and I promise to do the same and take good care of our child ,I will always love you ,sleep well with your new wife)
I shed one more tear and decided to sleep.