Look for the Light (Joel Miller fanfic)

Guitar Lessons and Heart Strings

A week went by and it was now the following Tuesday. No fireflies had come knocking at the Jackson gates, so Joel had calmed down a bit. Anxiety lessened in you too. As long as Joel was calm then so were you.

It was strange. The way his mood could affect yours now. If he was anxious then so were you. If he was mad then you'd get heated too. If he was happy then you'd be incandescently happy. This was new. It's like the two of you were somehow connected now. An invisible string tied together. A bond that couldn't be broken.

It was kind of scary if you thought about it long enough.

You were helping Maria in the stables today. Brushing out the horses' manes, inspecting their horseshoes, making sure they were all happy and healthy. The barn was warm as most of it was enclosed from the cold wind outside. More than a dozen horses lived in the vicinity, all getting taken care of. All happy to be inside.

As you inspected a solid black horse's hooves, thoughts of Joel came back to your mind. That invisible string that tugged on your heart when he was away from you pulled today. He was out with Tommy, they'd be fine. It was just a patrol run. But something deep inside always screamed danger when he was away, and it drove you crazy.

You chewed on your lip before you looked up at Maria as she was brushing the horse next to you, needing to ask her a question that you'd been wondering for awhile.

You hesitated but made yourself ask. "Hey, Maria. Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course. What is it?"

You dropped your hand from the horse's foot and sat up straight, looking in her direction as you nervously pulled a lock of hair behind your ear. "Ummm, I was just wondering, when did you realize you loved Tommy?"

She stopped brushing the horse's golden mane and turned in your direction, a warm smile appearing on her face. "Well, let me stop and think. It's been so long now, but I remember that day clearly."

She lightly laughed before she continued, dusting off her hands on her jeans. "Well, when he came back with us to Jackson we started patrolling together. We'd go out early in the mornings just the two of us. I always thought he was cute, charming with his slicked back hair. He was a real gentleman. Always asking me if I needed help with anything, always so attentive to me."

You smiled gently at her as you listened quietly. You liked this. Being able to talk to a woman your age and bond. It was nice. Something you hoped would continue.

"One day we were out on a run, just roaming around an unknown area and there was this flower bed out in the middle of nowhere. The most gorgeous flowers you could find. Well, he picked me a pink rose and put it in my hair. The way he was looking at me was like no other man had ever done before. And he was just so sweet, said I was his little flower." She giggled at the memory. "And that's when I knew he was the one. Haven't looked back since."

You watched as her face glowed, looking like she was so in love. You couldn't help but pick up on how she was feeling because that's how you felt with Joel. That same exact glow was what happened when you realized. That day in the tub. The day you realized you were falling in love with Joel.

You must've been spacing out because Maria cleared her throat and looked at you with wondering eyes. She raised an eyebrow, and you knew what was coming.

"Why do you ask?" Curiosity rolled off her tongue as she eyed you with a glimmer in her eyes.

"Oh. I was just wondering. That's all."

She must've heard the lie in your tone because she wasn't taking that as the real answer.

"You're not asking because of a certain older brother are you?" she pushed.