kpop oneshots

how did we get here? (aespa)

GROUP: aespa
SHIP: giselle centre
TW?: eating disorder, mentions of anorexia, mentions of self harm
word count: 882
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'how did it even get to this point?' was the main question she couldnt stop asking herself. how in the world did she end up on her bathroom floor, her inner thigh covered in a red colour, the blade in her right hand responsible for the colour, with fat tears streaming down her precious face?

and whats worse is that no matter how hard she tried, she couldnt stop these tears, she couldnt stop the thoughts, and she couldnt stop the itching feeling that came when the number rose even if was by a small amount.

"aeri-ah! hurry up, we have to leave soon!" someone called out to her, but she couldnt process it, causing even more tears to roll down her face. how was she gonna cover this up? she would have to shower in order to get rid of the red colour that was slowly drying as she sat and stared at it.

it only started with a cut down on calories after seeing a comment about how big she looked next to her members. then it slowly turned into skipping breakfast, because it 'made her stomach hurt.' but that turned into skipping lunch insisting that she had a big breakfast and wasnt hungry. which gradually led to not eating dinner as a whole, because why eat then when she had gone the whole day without food?

it was never meant to get this bad, she was never meant to start hurting herself simply because she had eaten a small bit of her already small meal.

"aeri?" the voice was moving closer and she felt her chest tightening. "yeah?" she called and her voice had cracked mid sentence. great, just what she needed. "you ok?" it was winter. bless her soul honestly, she had always been one to look out for others.

but giselle had always envied her heavily, winter had always been thin, since debut the girl never gained a single kilo. no matter how much she ate, it was somehow always gone within an hour, even if she didnt move. curse her and her fast metabolism.

"im fine." giselle said unconvincingly, she didnt believe it herself, how was anyone else going to? "can i come in?" well shit. now winter was directly outside the door and could probably hear her loud breathing. "no, dont!" giselle had accidentally shouted, she didnt mean to be loud but she just couldnt have winter see her like this.

winter was younger than her, she shouldnt have to see someone she considered an older sister like this. "why? whats wrong? why are you breathing like that?" this wasnt good, it wasnt supposed to go like this.

giselle was only meant to drop a kilo or two, so she could fit in, so she could look good next to her members. but it went wrong the moment she started, and now she didnt have a single clue what to do.

she dropped six kilos since she started three months ago, yes, but she wasnt thin. a bit bony in her upper body, of course, but still fat on her lower body. she hadnt meant to buy the razor and use it for the wrong purpose, she just wanted a physical reminder that eating wasnt good for her.

what would the group think if they had seen her like this? sat on the floor, her thigh dripping in blood, a razor blade sitting in her hand. she couldnt even begin to imagine their disgusted looks, she looked so terribly bad next to them, how do they even put up with her anymore?

she had changed almost entirely, always staying behind at practice until someone came to physically remove her, not eating dinner with the group anymore, barely eating her favourite foods unless she was 'alone' (a member usually watched from afar).

"aeri?" a different voice called for her. this one sounded more worried by a tenfold. she knew that voice from anywhere, it wasnt hard to recognise. it was karina, her amazing, thin, leader. the girl was always worrying about others, even though she should only really worry about herself.

even when she was worrying about everyone else, she managed to work out and maintain her perfect figure, knowing almost everyone envied her for her slim yet curvy figure. having a pretty face and hourglass body, not to mention her exceptional talent at being an idol.

she only realised how much she envied her members now, before she thought of it as adoration, when maybe the whole time it was envy. she hated this feeling though, the feeling that slipping straight though her fingers and is unable to stop it.

the door opened and three loud gasps were heard. they found out. they found her. sitting on the bathroom floor, in only her under garments, thighs painted red and a blade in her hand. her face drenched in tears that didnt stop falling. her once full of life eyes, had faded into dull brown orbs that lacked any sign of life in them.

she became a shell of human, and now her group had to see the ugly side of her. the side she never wanted to show anyone.

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wow its been long!! i wanna say this is me self projecting but i dont sh.

reminder that none of the stuff mentioned in this shot is real or normal, if you're dealing with anything similar please get help❤️