Down by the water • TWD

No Ones Looking.

"Dale could get under your skin. He sure got under mine, because he wasn't afraid to say exactly
what he thought, how he felt. That kind of honesty is rare and brave. Whenever I'd make a decision, I'd look at Dale. He'd be looking back at me with that look he had. We've all seen it one time or another. I couldn't always read him, but he could read us. He saw people for who they were. He knew things about us, the truth, who we really are. In the end, he was talking about losing our humanity. He said this group was broken. The best way to honor him is to unbreak it. Set aside our differences, and pull together, stop feeling sorry for ourselves and take control of our lives, our safety... Our future. We're not broken. We're gonna prove him wrong. From now on we're gonna do it his way." Rick took a breath. "That is how we honor Dale."

Avery stood there. Alone, off to the side. She was playing with her bracelet, kicking a rock back and forth with her feet. She hasn't eaten. She was tired, so tired. Her life had gone to shit so fast. She and Carl had shared glances during the funeral. She could tell he felt just as much blame as she did. She saw Daryl off to the side too. He hasn't even looked at her since they talked. She didn't know it would upset him that much. She looked at Shane and could practically feel the fumes radiating off of her. He had no right to stand here, he hated Dale and threatened to kill him once. She was mad at the world. Why do this? The world was cruel and she just had to get used to it.

----

Avery sat in Jackson's room reading her dog book. She walked in without saying hi, without acknowledging him, she just wanted company, to be in somebody's presence. Jackson felt awkward, he's been feeling a little better, and he understood that his mom had died a long time ago.

"What's your favorite dog breed?" Jackson asked lying down next to her and looking at what she was reading. She loved getting asked this.

"German Shepherd." She said quietly Jackson could barely hear. She turned the page to her book going on to the next breed. Jackson knew she didn't want to talk but he wouldn't give up.

"Mine is an Australian Shepherd, that's the dog I had growing up." He said thinking back to the memories with his dog. Avery was interested.

"Tell me about them, give me something to focus on," Avery said, pleading almost.

"His name was Bleu, he was my best bud, always sleeping with me, and he loved to play tug of war. He would always pull me on a sled during the winter. He was so soft, almost like a pillow." Avery listened to this wishing she had a dog of her own. She wished she would go sledding during the winter. 

"I've always wanted a dog," Avery confessed. "My mom was so close to getting one before but my dad said no." Avery scoffed. "I've never been more mad at him than that day." Not even when he left her.

"Oh I'm sorry, maybe you'll find a dog in this new world. Maybe you'll find a puppy and make it yours, take care of it, love it." Jackson smiled at her warmly. Avery smiled thinking about that, oh how she wished it would come true.

"Thank you, Jackson." Avery looked at him sincerely.

"Call me Jax." He said looking back at her. Nicknames. The thing Avery has always wanted. The time will come, she thought. But when?

"I'm gonna go see Beth, I haven't seen her since, y'know," Avery said while realizing that.

She got up stuffing her book back into her bag and swinging it onto her shoulders. She left his room feeling a little lighter. She got to talk about her favorite thing with one of her favorite people. 

It's still my fault.

She walked downstairs and into the kitchen where Maggie was helping Hershel unpack one of the boxes from the truck. Our group was moving into the house because of the weather and the danger of walkers migrating. It was starting to get cold, which meant, it was almost Avery's birthday. That nobody knew about. It was better that way.