Saudade || Amangela ||

CHAPTER 4: avoidance, guilt and finally peace

ANGELA'S POV: it's been two weeks ever since we first argued, I've been avoiding her for a while and she does aswell we haven't talked in those two weeks, we interact of course but just for in front of the camera and after we finished we both separate ways, everyone was confused but Olivia and Ian knew and kept quiet.

We no longer said our good mornings, our goodbyes, and good nights, basically we no longer hang out, we were close to the third week of just each other not existing in each other's life. I was sitting on one of the couches in the office scrolling through my phone until I see chanse walking towards to me.

"What?" I say not looking up from my phone, I could feel his eyes staring right through me then suddenly he grabbed my phone off of my grasp "Hey!" I say looking at him confused he sat down beside me and kept my phone way out of reach "what is going on?" He asked quietly.

"What?" I look at him confused until I knew what he's asking for. "Oh. Don't." I shaken my head and look away. But I could see his expression in my peripheral seeing his lips parted slightly with his gaze soften in concern "oh man, you two fought for the first time?" He asked tilting his head

I let out a soft sigh and nodded, crossing my arms I look down. "It was stupid.. I shouldn't have done it. The "telling Ian behind her back" thing..." I mumbled.

"oh God? Was it worse?" He asked.

"I can't tell you, If you knew she'd be more furious... i-" I let out a sighs "There are a lot of things I wanna say but cannot, I cannot break us apart more." I said sounding tired as I rested my back against the couch.

"I miss her, I miss her a lot, and whenever we film together i- it's so fake. It's so fucking fake and I just want her back chanse, I just... i-" I paused guilt etched on my face before looking at him "I'm a dumb friend..  a really.. really.. dumb friend.." i said in a guilt tone staring at him, wanting him to tell me what to do but he kept silent, and we both sat in silence.

AMANDA'S POV: another day.. it was getting tiring. Ever since me and angela fought our last hug was after the argument and we both no longer talk. She kept avoiding me everywhere in the office and the parking lot, I was thinking of how wrong I was, the mix of regret and guilt running in my body because I forced her to do something and yelled at her for telling someone. God I was the worse.

During the filming we put a fake smile on and laugh at each other's jokes, do the same playful banter but after filming she'd leave immediately and I wanted to speak, I wanted to talk. But I couldn't. I shouldn't.

Our co-workers were worried as well but I told them not to.

And now I was in the kitchenette pouring second coffee of the day until "ah- fuck!" I spill a little bit coffee onto my hand, the warm liquid hitting my skin was painful as i winced and tried to hold the groan in. I didn't want anyone to worry about me.

Suddenly I hear someone walk in "Amanda? What happened?" It was Tommy, he approached me and helped me to the sink go wash the burn by the cold water. "You should be careful next time Hon.. I'll go grab a-" I cut him off "no- no, it's okay..  it's okay, it wasn't the bad." I said giving him a weak smile but the burn still hurts me.

"There is no option for you to decli-"

"I said I'm okay." I cut him off again my tone sounded harsh that caused him to widen his eyes, I sighed once more "I'm okay... " I said in a gentle tone.

"..." he nodded and slowly turn the faucet off and let go "Okay." He grabbed some papertowel and place it on the puddle of coffee at the counter, I sighed. "What did she say?" I asked.

He looked at me confused "what? Who?" He asked then his eyebrows go up "oh.. Angela? Nothing why?"

I shaken my head and gave a reassuring smile "nothing."