A Cowboy's Love (Ford Brothers Book #3)

Chapter One: Jackson

  I have always joked around with my brothers about being the eleventh wheel. The one being left out. They all seem to be pairing up fast. Lucas is married with three kids and one on the way. Nate is engaged and expecting his first child next year. Aidan seems to be drawn to Bridget even though he has not said one word to her. Ryan has his eye on a bartender who will not give him the time of day. Everyone knows that Grayson and Bella has something going on and that just leaves me. I have not been able to fill the hole that has been in my heart since I was nineteen. I believed that she was the one for me back then. I still believe that she is the only one to make me feel alive again. It has been twelve years and I am still dead on the inside. No matter what I do I cannot shake her from my memories.

They have been coming full force for months now. The newest ones hitting harder than the last. I am still head over heels for the blue eyed girl who walked away from me. I cannot blame her for making the decision that she made. After all we were just kids who did not know any better. Looking back now I should have stayed and followed her instead of turning away. I should have waited until she was ready to follow me. After all these years I still think about everything that I did wrong. All the little things I could have done differently. I still have a little bubble of hope that she would come back into my life.

I know that I should move on and I have tried. I really did try to move on, but I could not. I have not found anyone that could fill the void I am trying to fill. I have not met the right woman who could help me forget about my memories of the one that got away. I went on plenty of dates trying to stop the pain. I felt nothing, but regret. I felt guilty for being out with another girl when my heart beats for another.

I do not like to bring her up; it comes with too much pain. My heart breaks every time my memory replays our last day together. The day she walked out of my life. I am obsessed with her and I do not know who she is anymore. Did she chase after her dreams? Did she get married and have children? Does she ever think about me? Does she still love me like I still love her? So many questions and I am afraid that I will never get my answers.

"Are we going to get this fixed sometime soon? I would like to get home; I am Starving." Nate joked. At least there was no hitting this time.

*SMACK*

"Yeah! Where is your head at?" Ryan questioned. I spoke way too soon. I raised my hand to the side of my head where he smacked me.

"What was that for?" I huffed out as I glared at him.

"Is someone feeling left out again?" Nate asked as he tried to hold his laugh in. Not doing a very good job if you ask me.

"Have you ever thought that I might not be interested in finding anyone?" I groaned out. This talk is getting really old. I am happy for my brothers; I really am. Sometimes it just hurts seeing them with their families and knowing that I will never have what they do. My shot came and I missed it. If there is someone out there for me, it is too late; my heart belongs to Ellie. Always has and always will.

"What's really going on with you?" Lucas asked, placing his hand on my shoulder. For support or comfort, I am not sure, but I could use both right now. I have not talked about this in years. I did not give them all the sad and depressing details that still hunt me to this day.

"If I tell y'all I don't want to hear any laughing or jokes." I told them.

"We Won't." Grayson said as he glared at Nate.

"I promise. I will not laugh or even crack one joke." Nate promised.

"I still have strong feelings for Ellie." I confessed to my brothers.

"Wait. Who is Ellie?" Aidan asked. I forgot that he was still a kid when Ellie and I went our separate ways.

"Ellie was Jackson's high school sweetheart." Nate replied filling him in.