A Cowboy's Love (Ford Brothers Book #3)

Chapter Two: Amelia

 Life has never been easy for me. For as long as I can remember life has always been difficult for me. Always doing what I was expected to do. The perfect child, the good girl, the daughter my parents wanted me to be. I tried to be the best daughter I could, but I am still not good enough for them. I am no good, trash, and even a disappointment to everyone I meet. I had someone who loved and cared for me and I walked away from him. It still haunts me to this day.

I was even a disappointment to my ex; the father of my children. It has been two years since I have seen him. He has not helped me out in anyway. He never paid a dime of his child support, has not called to talk to them, or seen them. I do not understand how a father could walk away from his children, but than again mine disowned me.

I try to be everything my girls need, but most of the time I am not enough. They have to go without and I do not like seeing them miss out on stuff they want to do. Which reminds me that Gabby has a basketball game next week and another game that I will miss. Kate has been getting sick to her stomach and most foods have been making her ill. I have made a doctors appointment; they have been backed up and it is a month away. I wish they had a closer date, but if she gets too bad I will be taking her to the emergency room. I am hoping that it is only a cold with no fever.

I often wonder what it would be like to have someone helping me, taking some of the weight off my shoulders. Someone to love the girls and me. Someone to care for us. I have been lonely for years; it feels like I have always been alone, just the three of us. Drew was not abusive to us physically only verbally at first. Words can be more powerful than a fist. It stays with you forever, always stuck inside your head reminding you of every word said.

I do not think I could trust another man after what he put me through. I never saw what laid beneath the surface. The mask he wore hid his true nature. The boy I went to school with disappeared and never returned. He has the world fooled with his act. Now the place I called home I can never go back to. He dragged my name through the dirt agreeing with my parents when I left him. He turned the whole town against me. I do not know if I could let another man hold that much power over me again. After two traumatizing breakups and I do not think I could survive another one.

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Today has been a busy one. I have been running around like crazy. A normal Friday for the place. One of my favorites that keep my mind from wandering away. I really need to stop over thinking everything. It has finally slowed down in here enough for my thoughts to get tangled into another web. I walked around the room clearing and cleaning tables from the rush. My back is hurting and I can imagine that my feet are starting to swell from all the running around I have done this week. My head is pounding from all the noise and the fact that I have not had a break since I started my shift this morning.

I was lucky when I found this job. Jessie, the woman who owns the diner is a wonderful woman. She understands that I am a single mom and I need weekends off. It worked out since she hired high schoolers to help give them a job. I have worked a few shifts with them and they all are hard workers. They are putting what money they make towards their future.

The bell above the door had my head snapping towards it. I do not know why I am so jumpy. I have been this way since I left Drew. I caught sight of Maddie, Bella, and Charley walking towards me with a smile on their faces. I can tell that they are up to something.

"Y'all can sit wherever. I will be right there with your drinks." I told them as I headed to the waitress area to get their drinks.

"Busy day?" Charley asks as I place the drinks down in front of them.

"Yes, it has finally slowed down. I am ready to go home."

"Why don't you go to the bar with me and Bridget?" Bella asked giving me her best puppy dog eyes.