VIII. Random Thoughts

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No, I'm not crying

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No, I'm not crying. I'm just sitting here and resting my head on my own arms as I've come to think of some random things.

“I've never wished for something big before. I've never really wanted anything, I just stayed contented with nothing and with no one. All because I've always believed I don't deserve anything and I'm better off alone---I thought I could be the man on an island. I guess, it's really true that no man is an island. Now that I knew I was getting older. I'm wishing to have someone to walk with me so that I would forget how colorless, foggy, and cold my path is. Everything's changing; I keep losing people I hold dear; I am not gaining friends anymore. I've been stuck in one place, holding on to nothing but my own cold and sweaty hands. I think that as I get closer to what I want to achieve, I keep getting farther away from what kept me going. My friends, my people, my old silly hobbies, my rest, and my home. People who have come into my life go by as quickly as time has passed. I was surrounded by people who said they're always there for me before, but now I don't even have just one person to share my thoughts with. I don't even have a safe place to go when life gets hard. The path I took is lonely and so exhausting. I know, I'm the problem and all the fault was mine.”

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