I Can't Go Home, Anymore.

If you think it did not hurt me

If you think it did not hurt me,
it did.
It killed a part of me, to be honest.

I crawled on rocky roads, 
got wounded by a thousand broken glasses,
I even bled and cried and choked.

I loathed you,
Screamed your name in despise,
Cursed a countless times.

Yet like a fool I prayed to God
"Please, don't make him feel the same pain I've felt."
The pain you've caused, the pain I suffered from for a hundred sleepless night.

If you think it did not hurt me, 
it did.
I just did not show it.

But I stayed up late at night, sobbing.
Wishing to hear even just a whisper of your apology.
Trying to dry the ocean in my eyes.

My brain won't let me let you know
But I wished you knew
What happened after you broke my heart into small pieces.

—KAI—
🌻