i was never the girl who believed in love.
all the way through high school, i avoided people i found attractive or interesting in any way. i was so scared, terrified even, to fall in love. the thought of getting hurt by a loved one seemed too terrible to be worth of loving at all.
but as the years went by, and i 'unfortunately' fell in love with one of the biggest pop stars of the generation, i found myself grateful for that.
every day reminded me of my loving billie was worth it. she'd always bring a smile on my face. every saturday, she'd give me roses, and little by little, a fresh breeze of hope for our future. even though a we lived in a constant state of fear, and under the weight of being in the public eye, we always loved eachother enough to go through that.
it wasn't until summer last year when billie proposed.
we were laying on the floor of our new, still completely empty home. the only thing we had already moved there were our huge speakers, which were blasting our favourite songs as we laid there cuddled into eachothers arms.
"do you believe in soulmates?" billie had asked.
the question made me chuckle. she wasn't quite the type of girlfriend to ask questions like that.
"i'm not actually sure. do you?"
i took my time with my words, thinking about the meaning behind soulmates and really wondering if that was a thing. the whole time i spoke, billie's fingers caressed my jawline as her eyes stared right into mine. it was truly a straight-from-the-movies- moment.
"i didn't, until something happened that made me 100% sure that soulmates really are a real thing."
i had furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "what thing?"
"you're so stupid, baby. i'm talking about you."
after that, she said some more stuff. it was beautiful. maybe the most beautiful moment of my whole life until now. so beautiful, that it's actually way too sweet and perfect for me to tell anyone else. those words shared that night fill forever be known only by us two.
anyways, after a while of speaking and shreading tears of love, billie got down on one knee and we both made a promise for eachother. it wasn't needed, but it was something we both wanted to do.
"i promise to you love no matter what. i promise to love you through sickness and health. i promise to never talk bad about you, and i promise to keep you as my one and only. i promise to have your children and remind you of their beauty inherited from you every day. i promise to love you when we're poor, when the life we created ourselfs doesn't feel good anymore and when all the other young couples have broken up. i promise to be there for you, and i promise to hold your hand when needed, and even when it's not, but when it just feels nice to do so."
billie couldn't even finish the last sentence before i was fully sobbing. then we both cried, and giggled in between the tears before i was ready to make my promise. i held my beautiful fiancee's hands in my own, looking into her bloodshot eyes that were still so beautiful.
"how did i ever get so lucky?"
those were the first words leaving my mouth. not what i had planned, but what came to my mind and what i wanted to start my promise with.
at that time, both of us were really insecure. we were struggling with our body images and the way we saw ourselfs as persons. - that's probably why those words sent billie into another cry of love, and happiness.
