Is she struggling?

Chapter 9~ Im back sweetheart

I woke up with a pounding headache. I glance at the clock and it's 4:30. I have to get up in an hour. I try closing my eyes and going back to sleep but 30 minutes later I'm still awake and my headache got worser. I got up and took 4 ibuprofens. I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep so I layed on the couch watching True crime with kojo cuddled up to me.

30 minutes later my alarm clock with off. I got off the couch and head to my room get ready. As I'm curling my hair I look in the mirror, you can see how tired and exhausted I am. I finished getting ready before making breakfast for Jayden. I decided not to eat because my head was hurting to bad. Jayden it's time to wake up buddy, I say running my hand through his hair. That tickles, he says sleepy laughing. Come you've got to eat breakfast so I can get you ready, I say as I pick him up. Are you ready for your first day of school, I ask him as he's eating. Yea I'm excited but I don't wanna leave you, he says. It's okay buddy I'm gonna pick you up after school and you're gonna come to the station with me okay, I say. Station what station, he asks curious. I never told you my job did I buddy, I say. He shakes his head no. Well I'm a detective and work in a police station, I say. That sounds so cool can I see the police station, he asks with a smile. Yea buddy you'll see it after school let's get you ready, I say picking him up. After I got him ready we headed out the door.

Once I got to the station I went straight to the locker room and put my stuff away. When I walked in I saw Angela on her phone. Hey Luce, she says putting her phone down. Hey ang, I saw back. You okay you look tired, Angela asks me. Yea just couldn't sleep, I say with a small smile. Mhm, she replies but I just shake it off. As I'm putting my stuff in my locker my phone drops out of my bag I bend down to pick it up and wince in pain from the cuts on my leg. Lucy did you hurt yourself again, Angela asks me quietly. No I didn't, I say. I take another 2 ibuprofens since I've already token 4 this morning. Then why are you taken ibuprofen, she asks. Because my head feels like it's gonna explode, I say back. She looks at me with concern in her eyes and I can tell she means well, let me know if you need anything okay, she says and I just nod my head. The day was going by pretty smoothly besides the pounding in my head and the throbbing in my thighs. I really shouldn't have cut that much but I couldn't control it. I wasn't in my right state of mind.

Once we arrived at lunch I went straight to a table. I wasn't eating because I was sure I was gonna throw up if I did. I was scrolling on my phone when I got a message from my aunt Amy. It was a short video of one of Zolas games that I had missed. A smile formed on my face as I saw how good she was playing. What ya smiling at, Aaron asked me. Nothing just watching my little cousins volleyball game, I say with a smile. Mhm,he says. I just shake my head and laugh it off. You not eating Lucy, Tim asks me as he sits down. Nope I'm gonna throw up if I do, I say. The headaches that bad, Angela asks. Yep been up since 4:30 this morning highly don't recommend that, I say laughing a little. I would've just called in a personal for all that, Celina says. I took a personal yesterday so I wasn't taking  another one today, I say. So how's things going with Jayden, Nyla asks. Pretty good, I say. Does he like kojo, Tim asks. He loves him they practically play with each other all day, I with a smile.

Once it hits 3 I go to the school to pick up Jayden. I was a little late because I was integrating a suspect. LUCYY, Jayden yells as I walk into the office while he runs and hugs me. I bend down and pick him up which hurt like shit but I pushed through it. Hey buddy, I say while ruffing his hair up. Sorry for being late I got caught up at work, I say to the front desk lady. No problem Ms.Chen he's an angel, she says. Thanks ready to go buddy, I say. Yea, he says with a smile. So how was school, I ask once we're in the car. It was so fun I made some new friends and Liam's in my class  and they are so nice, he says with a big smile. That's good buddy do you want McDonald's before we go to the station, I ask.  Yea, he practically yells with a big smile and I just laugh. We get to McDonald's and I get him a happy meal and me a sweet tea since I haven't ate all day and we head to the station.

Once we get to the station we get greeted by Angela. Hey buddy how are you, Angela asks ruffing his hair up. Hey Angela and I'm great, he says with a big smile. That's good buddy, she says with a smile. Alright come on you can sit with me at my desk, I say to Jayden. We head to my desk and as I sit Jayden on my lap I have to bit my bottom lip and squeeze my eyes shut because of the pain. Luce, Angela says grabbing my shoulder. Mhm, I say my eyes still shut. She moved closer to my ear and I can feel her breath on my neck. God why am I getting turned on. Not the right place or time Lucy. I already knew the questions she was about to ask and I knew she would catch me in the lie. Why did you hurt yourself, she whispers. I didn't, I say turning my head to her out lips almost touching. Then why are you thighs hurting when Jayden sits on them, she whispers. Pulled a muscle, I say with a smirk. Don't lie to me Lucy, she says. Who says I'm lying, I say with another smirk on my face. You're enjoying this to much, she says as she start to move. Oh yes I am, I say laughing and turning back to my case.

After my shift is over I'm heading to the locker rooms to get my bag. I left Jayden at my desk and told him I'd be back. As I shut my locker I see Angela leaning against it. Don't do it, she says. Do what, I ask dumbfounded. Lucy don't  play stupid with me, she says seriously. Okay okay I promise I won't happy, I say back. Call me if you need me I'm serious, she says softly. I will I promise, I say with a slight smile. I admired how much she cared for me it was something I really liked about her, either her smile or her laugh was my favorite thing about her though not that I would tell her that. I might one day.

Once we get home Jayden went and did his homework while I cooked us dinner. I cooked chicken tenders and fries. After we ate I got Jaydens shower done and he play with kojo for a bit before I put him done for bed. I was cleaning the kitchen when I heard a knock at the door. I thought it was weird since it was already 9. I open the door to see Jason and the color drained from my face and I stood there frozen. I'm back sweetheart, he says as he punches me and my stomach and slaps me across my face. I'm still frozen in shock. He punches me a few more times in my stomach then grabs my wrist and squeezes them tight but I'm still frozen. He starts to touch and undress me which snaps me out of it. I push him down to the ground and start throwing punches to his face. At this point he has a bloody nose I wouldn't be surprised if it was broken. I kicked him in his stomach a few times before I threw him out of the house and immediately locked all the doors. I slid down the door with my head in my knees bawling my eyes out with my mouth over my hand so I didn't wake Jayden up. My hand was throbbing I didn't know if I broke it or not. After what felt like an eternity I went in the bathroom and started the water in the shower. I grabbed my blade and got in the shower and started cutting my thighs again and again. I left the water run over the blood which stung like hell before I scrubbed my body raw. I sunk onto the floor with my head in my knees once again crying with the water running over my body. I got into my bed and cried myself to sleep hoping it was all a dream.